Confidence is Key!

Since Crash came into our family, I have seen small differences and big ones. We have less toys in our house. We have more stuffing spread throughout the house. There are random strips of fabric, ruined socks, and busted balls everywhere. I've also noticed lots of Crash related laughing sessions and giggles, and some pretty adorable pictures. (See? It's not all bad stuff!)

But one thing that means so much to me that I've noticed is a huge amount of increased confidence in Psyche. She's always been a little bit of a scaredy dog. If a pop can was opened, and you were even looking at her, she'd cower and run away. Simple things in life would cause her to go from "Oh yeah, I'm the best thing since sliced bread" to "Oh my god, the world wants to EAT me!" I mean, it didn't really effect how we were living, but going out into a city and having her be comfortable? Yeah right. Tugging in a new place? If you're lucky, you'll get a light pull, but if you countered at all, she'd let go and shut down. She was a scaredy dog; I knew this. It was okay with me, because I learned how to handle it.

Then last week, on the 29th, I spent the day with Erin and her boy Mach, and honestly, I noticed some big differences. We went into a pet store before going to Erin's, and she was a little bit sniffy and stuff, but over all, a lot more comfortable there than she has been. Instead of stress sniffing, she was being a snoop. We went to the agility field after that and worked some. She was zoomin' and working so well for me, besides how hot it was, and she was tugging really hard. I was a little shocked, but just put it off to her being comfortable.

We went and picked Erin and Mach up after that, and went to the lake for a swim, because it was really hot. Psyche at first was pulling me, of course, like she always does, and then we got into the water and she started to go towards the kids (just wanting to play) but I grabbed her and we went looking for somewhere not so close to such a huge temptation for Psych. So down the lake we went, playing in the water, having a grand ol' time, and then we hear the kids coming, and they promptly get in the water, a little ways over. I managed to call her off of the kids every time she started going over to them, and I was quite proud of that. She really LOVES kids. It's so hard for her not to go see them, but she did. A few dogs walked past, too, and she didn't do her usual kind of "lock up" where she's just like "I don't know what to do -- do I go see them? do I stay here?" Instead she didn't pay any attention to them, really.

And then we went to Erin's and hung out, but then did some agility. Psyche was doing great. Really working for me... but the thing that finally made me realize just how GREAT she was being, was how HARD she was tugging. Like, seriously. She meant it, and it was so great. I don't need her to tug, but I like for her to like her toys, and since her toy is a hole-ee roller with a rubber chicken ball stuffed inside, and a fleece tug braided onto it, it's good for tugging. But I was just so pleased with how she was tugging. She's usually not that confident in new places enough to tug like that.

So we started to get my mom and sister and head home from our day out, and while I was waiting, I decided to take her out and work her some. We were in a city parking garage while we waited and it was really empty, so there was plenty of space. We did some obedience and stuff, then when cars started to leave from the other levels, we decided we'd tug some, with the distraction of cars. She never once let go of that tug unless I asked her to. Good girl! And so then I was curious to see if she'd get up on the barrier/wall thing, and of course, she did, so we started to walk along it, and BAM, out of the rafters comes two pigeons. Scared the CRAP out of me, but did Psyche even flinch? Not at all.

I honestly blame all of this confidence on Crash. He's encouraged her a lot in the tugging thing, mostly, because if she doesn't hold on, Crash gets it, and that's no fun. As for the rest of it? Well, maybe it's just luck, and maybe it's got a lot to do with having to be the grown up twin, because the other one's a nut case.

Well, that's good...

I still stink at blogging, so good thing nothing's changed, I guess.

Anyway, so I've updated the blog again, with yet another hope of keeping the blog updated. For now, here's what's new.

I'm graduating High School on Thursday.

Tomorrow night is my prom, where I plan on taking Psyche as my date, wearing a cute bow tie to match my dress. Thursday's the graduation ceremony, and I get to do the salutatory speech, which I'm really stoked about. And then it's freedom, I guess. I'm really kind of nervous about being out in the "real world".

Psyche and Zoey are as quirky as ever, and enjoying life with a new brother. On April 23rd I met Psyche's full brother after being contacted by his momma, who couldn't keep him anymore. He met Psyche and they hit it off okay, and then on the 24th I brought him home as a "foster"... yeah, right. It was worth a try, at least.

He's here to stay now and even though Crash was a handful at first, I love the boy. And like my mom said, "we need at least one Problem Child." Since losing Bella he's been the biggest "challenge" I've been faced with, and honestly, it's been nice, in a crazy way.

Good news!

I just got a new Camera this past weekend, which of course means more pictures. Which, of course, everyone loves when the pictures are of dogs as beautiful as mine.

This is probably by far my favorite picture I've taken with it yet,
Impressive, huh?

Anyway, that's all.

Monday was 4 months...

since losing Bella, and I promise I'm not turning this into a sad, make you cry, post. However, if you want to know how I grieved Bella on the 4 month marker, go look at her page.

No, this is more about Psyche.

And about how when I lost Bella, I said "I'm not sure if I want to do the dog thing anymore if I don't have Bella."

Thinking back on that, I can't even imagine how I could have ever thought that. How would I have ever given up the amazing dogs I still have because I lost one? I miss her, I really do, but so do they, and they're not giving up. So neither did I, and I have no intention on it.

Just a random little post, I guess... be sure to check out Bella's page, and my recently updated Project 365 page.

It's BAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRNNNN day!

Another morning spent at the agility barn. Psyche was 100% amazing, besides literally running into the jump standard twice. I had thrown her toy and she went into it. Same jump, too. *shakes head* No one ever said she was smart, just easy to train and speedy!

She was so great today! I was very impressed with her. She's turning out to be an amazing dog. An agility friend of ours even ran her today, and she went with her, no issues. Little Dog's gonna be a Jr. Handler dog someday!

Zoey was pretty impressive today, too. We worked some on "go see!" where I let her go visit with people, but when I say her name, she comes back.

Anyway, after we got home from agility today, I let Psyche play with her new favorite thing... the HUGE tennis ball I bought for her!

So that's more or less the story. I've been pretty tired lately, so pretty depressed and thinking and crying about Bella a lot, so I held off on blogging until I had something extra happy to talk about.

Back to school!

Today was my first day back to school, which was pretty crappy in itself. Not to mention I woke up with ear issues (Do you know how scary it is to wake up at 17 and not be able to hear?) so it was starting out a bad day.

I'd been off of school since December 23rd, so I'd gotten used to staying home with the dogs all day, and the dogs got used to it too. So I crated them up and left for school and did my thing. Came home at 4:30 and went to the dogs, camera in hand, tennis ball in the other. The dogs had a total blast just ramming around and playing ball, and I think it'll be come a routine for us. Nice for me to wind down just throwing a tennis ball, waiting, and having it tossed back to me.

I snapped some pictures (working on my theme for this weeks 52 Weeks of Chazhound Dogs, so they're mostly black and white), and I hope you enjoy!

Something's gotta give.

Okay, it's time to step back and take a fresh new look at things. The blog has gone to a spot where I didn't ever want it to go. It's become that blog, you know, the one that's so sad no one really wants to read it? Yeah. That.

Bella would have never wanted this to be how I spent my free time - blogging only about my sadness at her loss, depriving the public eye (or would it be considered ear, since you're "listening" to my stories?) of how awesome my other dogs are, or how happy I am with life because of them. They are what they are because of how I raised them, and I raised them how I did, because of how Bella changed me.

I'm not forgetting her, or pushing her aside. I'm simply rejoicing in what Bella left me with - two amazing dogs, including Psyche, who she whipped into shape to be the emotional crutch I needed after her loss, and to become the best friend I didn't know I needed.

So enough is enough. No more overwhelming sadness. Sure, there will be sad posts, after all, I'm mourning the loss of a best friend, but I want this to be a place of joy - joy for the life I have now, the friends I have, the dogs I love, the family I rely on, the person I am today because of Bella, and the joy at ever having known Bella at all, because I can promise you, there are others in the world who have never known a dog like Bella, and there are people in the world who had the chance to know a dog like Bella, and love her, and have with her what I was given, and they passed her by.

A place of joy. A place to remember the one who made us, and look out onto the horizon of our futures, together as a team.