Today is a fairly good day. There is snow on the ground, and I know Bella would have loved it. I hope where ever she is, waiting for me, that there's snow for her to play in. She loved snow.
Last night I was sent a link to a video a friend of mine had made for Bella. She'd used the song Yesterdays by Switchfoot that I'd quoted in an earlier post, and the video made me laugh, cry, and clutch Psyche, knowing she misses Boo just as much as I do. I still miss Bella everyday, but I was proud that I could laugh at some of those foolish pictures of her that were in the video. Thank you again, Abby. (To see the video go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suUUN1_QZD8 )
Today I'm watching old videos of her, and they make me smile. I miss my Boo with every fiber of my being, but I feel like I'm finally able (or at least today) to look back and smile about her. Love that I had her at all, love what she gave me, and just love her. I hold my memories more dear to my heart then ever before the longer she's gone.
My favorite video of Bella today:
Oh, my Boo. <3
No real point to this entry, I guess. Just some stuff on my heart I wanted to get out. Thanks to my friends and family who have been so supportive.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Two Months
I can't even fathom the idea that I've been without my Bella for two hole months as of today, but it has. In a way, I can't believe it's been two months already, but at the same time, I feel like it's been ages since I've seen my Boo and I miss her like crazy. I still sometimes feel like this isn't real and I've just sent her to stay with someone else for a long time; a part of me is still waiting for her to come home. Today is one of those days where it just doesn't seem real. How is it possibly real that my baby girl, who taught me so much and means so much to me is actually gone from this world? Just so unreal to me. And I wish it weren't real.
My thoughts lately have not only been of Bella, but also of a few friends of mine who recently lost their loved ones. It saddens me to say that Bella has friends playing with her now, but it only saddens me because I now have friends here on earth, missing them. Duke, a young German Shepherd, taken way too soon from his momma. Koda, an Australian Shepherd who's momma made the decision to end his suffering and see him free. And so many others who I'm sure have been lost within the past two months.
My heart goes out to anyone who said goodbye to a best friend, ever. I know that it's a tough situation. And to the people who have just recently said goodbye, know that it gets easier. Not easier to not think about them, or to not miss them, but easier to look back and love the moments you had and cherish the memories you were given. After two months I have days where I can finally look back at pictures and videos of Bella and instead of sobbing and hating that she's gone, I can look at them and smile because Bella was a goof, and she was perfect, and amazing, and she was my Boo, and I'll miss her forever, but at least I have a reason to miss her - I knew her, and that in itself is amazing.
Think today of your lost loved ones, and don't dwell that they're gone, but be happy that they lived, and that you were lucky enough to not only know them, but to love them.
Boo, I miss you more then anything in the world, know that you're always on my mind, and you're a being who came into my life and did amazing things. For that I'll forever owe you, and I will never forget you, and all that you've done for me.
My thoughts lately have not only been of Bella, but also of a few friends of mine who recently lost their loved ones. It saddens me to say that Bella has friends playing with her now, but it only saddens me because I now have friends here on earth, missing them. Duke, a young German Shepherd, taken way too soon from his momma. Koda, an Australian Shepherd who's momma made the decision to end his suffering and see him free. And so many others who I'm sure have been lost within the past two months.
My heart goes out to anyone who said goodbye to a best friend, ever. I know that it's a tough situation. And to the people who have just recently said goodbye, know that it gets easier. Not easier to not think about them, or to not miss them, but easier to look back and love the moments you had and cherish the memories you were given. After two months I have days where I can finally look back at pictures and videos of Bella and instead of sobbing and hating that she's gone, I can look at them and smile because Bella was a goof, and she was perfect, and amazing, and she was my Boo, and I'll miss her forever, but at least I have a reason to miss her - I knew her, and that in itself is amazing.
Think today of your lost loved ones, and don't dwell that they're gone, but be happy that they lived, and that you were lucky enough to not only know them, but to love them.
Boo, I miss you more then anything in the world, know that you're always on my mind, and you're a being who came into my life and did amazing things. For that I'll forever owe you, and I will never forget you, and all that you've done for me.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Bella's final gift to me
This past weekend I attended an agility trial with my young border collie, Psyche.
Psyche and Bella were very close when Bella was still with me. Bella was instantly best friends with her when I first brought her home, and they've been buddies since. Bella and Psyche played for hours, slept together, snuggled, and were over all an amazing pair. Between those two I never had a second where the thought that I owned amazing dogs wasn't somewhere in my head.
When we (and I say we as in anyone who ever knew how amazing Bella truly was) lost Bella, I was devastated, but so was Psyche. We both missed her, and still miss her. And because of how much the two of us miss Bella, we rely on each other a lot more. She understands when I want to just lay in bed and cry for a little bit, and I understand when she doesn't feel like playing. We get that we're both sad.
The weekend after putting Bella down, Psyche and I both sucked it up and went to the trial we'd entered in. I wasn't expecting to have a great weekend, and for the most part, I spent it in near tears, trying to keep myself in check while people told me how sorry they were for my loss. But when it was our turn to run, Psyche made it all better. She showed me with everything she did that she still loved me, even though we were both sad, and she gave me her all.
It still wasn't a "perfect" weekend to some, but it was great to me. I thought Psyche and I were finally starting to come together as a team.
This past weekend, Halloween weekend, Psyche showed me that, yes, we are coming together as a team, and even better, we're going to be an amazing team.
Psyche and I loaded up and drove 3 hours to our first ever indoor trial. It was new to Psyche and new to me. We were entered in 8 runs total (all that was offered) and it was the most I'd ever entered Psyche in - remember, she only started trialing this spring. Of those 8 runs, Psyche and I had 6 amazing runs, and the other two were good, just not as good as the others she gave me that weekend. We were truly connected, and everyone who had seen us run before knew it, saw it, and commented on it. We had an amazing weekend.
This weekend, Psyche gave me not only her first Q (qualifying run) but also my first ever Q with a dog I'd trained. She ran with me through a Snookers course that I planned out with the help of friends, and not only ran clean and under time for me, but managed to snag a Q and a first place ribbon!
I don't remember when it happened, or even if it was before or after our Q, or who said it, but this weekend someone of the agility community looked at me and was saying how great Psyche was doing, and I gave my usual response "Yes, she's doing so great, and I'm so happy... but it's sad that what seems to have brought this around was losing Bella." and without even skipping a beat this person replied, with a pat on my shoulder, "This was her last gift to you."
Tears come to my eyes writing this now, because I know it's true. Bella, in all of her foolishness and pure beauty made it so that even through our grieving and missing her, Psyche and I would find each other and seek out comfort and come together as an amazing team.
I like to think that when I'm out there, having amazing runs with my Psycher Doo that my Boodleshnitzle is right there along side us, keeping pace and urging us to be the best we can be - together.
Psyche and Bella were very close when Bella was still with me. Bella was instantly best friends with her when I first brought her home, and they've been buddies since. Bella and Psyche played for hours, slept together, snuggled, and were over all an amazing pair. Between those two I never had a second where the thought that I owned amazing dogs wasn't somewhere in my head.
When we (and I say we as in anyone who ever knew how amazing Bella truly was) lost Bella, I was devastated, but so was Psyche. We both missed her, and still miss her. And because of how much the two of us miss Bella, we rely on each other a lot more. She understands when I want to just lay in bed and cry for a little bit, and I understand when she doesn't feel like playing. We get that we're both sad.
The weekend after putting Bella down, Psyche and I both sucked it up and went to the trial we'd entered in. I wasn't expecting to have a great weekend, and for the most part, I spent it in near tears, trying to keep myself in check while people told me how sorry they were for my loss. But when it was our turn to run, Psyche made it all better. She showed me with everything she did that she still loved me, even though we were both sad, and she gave me her all.
It still wasn't a "perfect" weekend to some, but it was great to me. I thought Psyche and I were finally starting to come together as a team.
This past weekend, Halloween weekend, Psyche showed me that, yes, we are coming together as a team, and even better, we're going to be an amazing team.
Psyche and I loaded up and drove 3 hours to our first ever indoor trial. It was new to Psyche and new to me. We were entered in 8 runs total (all that was offered) and it was the most I'd ever entered Psyche in - remember, she only started trialing this spring. Of those 8 runs, Psyche and I had 6 amazing runs, and the other two were good, just not as good as the others she gave me that weekend. We were truly connected, and everyone who had seen us run before knew it, saw it, and commented on it. We had an amazing weekend.
This weekend, Psyche gave me not only her first Q (qualifying run) but also my first ever Q with a dog I'd trained. She ran with me through a Snookers course that I planned out with the help of friends, and not only ran clean and under time for me, but managed to snag a Q and a first place ribbon!
I don't remember when it happened, or even if it was before or after our Q, or who said it, but this weekend someone of the agility community looked at me and was saying how great Psyche was doing, and I gave my usual response "Yes, she's doing so great, and I'm so happy... but it's sad that what seems to have brought this around was losing Bella." and without even skipping a beat this person replied, with a pat on my shoulder, "This was her last gift to you."
Tears come to my eyes writing this now, because I know it's true. Bella, in all of her foolishness and pure beauty made it so that even through our grieving and missing her, Psyche and I would find each other and seek out comfort and come together as an amazing team.
I like to think that when I'm out there, having amazing runs with my Psycher Doo that my Boodleshnitzle is right there along side us, keeping pace and urging us to be the best we can be - together.
Friday, October 22, 2010
I remember you like yesterday.
I wrote this on my iPod (have to love that "note" feature!) on October 14th. Thought it might be something worth posting on the blog, just for you all to get a taste of what I'm feeling.
It's been really rough for me - I won't even attempt to hide that from you, it wouldn't be possible. But I can say with all of my heart that the only reason I've managed to be as strong as I'm being is because of Psyche. She's keeping me going, reminding me that I need to get up and live my life, I can't just spend my time crying over what can't be changed now. She looks at me with her soulful eyes and I can't say no to her, I can't not be the owner she needs me to be, because I know she needs me to help her deal with the pain of this loss, and her way of dealing is to be with me, and be happy with me. I think in a way she understands better then I ever will how Bella would want me to be living. I know Bella would want me happy, but that doesn't mean it's easy to just do that.
A friend of mine, Abby, who I thank for being there for me, recently mentioned to me a song, and I'm so grateful she did. It's called Yesterdays by Switchfoot and the lyrics so a special something that seems to ease my soul. I thought I'd share those lyrics with you all, simply because it makes me happy to do so.
"I spent the last half hour just playing with Psyche. She was playing with a sock, a piece of paper, a feather, my blanket, and my pillows. She will play with anything, just to play.
It was nice. I think tonight will be the first night I've gone to sleep with some happy in my heart - she's just too cute for me not to be happy about.
She's laying beside me on the bed, me on my belly, propped up, her laying flat on her belly, head down, resting on her paws, just laying beside her momma.
I've been so thankful for her this past month. She has helped me so much in dealing with the loss of Bella. At first my tears, and the way I breath when crying freaked her out, but she's gotten used to them and comes up to just love on me when I'm down. I think she understands why I'm crying - gets why I'm sad... Because I think she is too. I know she missed Bella, at least a first, but I think now, even a month later, Psyche still has moments like I do - oh where's Bella? She's gotta see this! But she's not here to see. And I think that's just as hard on both of us.
Psyche sleeps in one of Bella's old spots - the spot up by my head and pillow where Bella used to lay her head, her big German shepherd body crammed into my lower back. Now a smaller dog lays there. I sometimes wonder if it makes her feel closer to Bella. I know being in my bedroom makes me feel closer to her. Most of my memories of her are in this room, or at least the more fresh ones. I'm scared for the day when even the fresh ones seem old. I'm scared for when I grow old and forget the little stores about my Bella. I'm terrified I'll lose her completely by forgetting. I don't ever want to forget."
It was nice. I think tonight will be the first night I've gone to sleep with some happy in my heart - she's just too cute for me not to be happy about.
She's laying beside me on the bed, me on my belly, propped up, her laying flat on her belly, head down, resting on her paws, just laying beside her momma.
I've been so thankful for her this past month. She has helped me so much in dealing with the loss of Bella. At first my tears, and the way I breath when crying freaked her out, but she's gotten used to them and comes up to just love on me when I'm down. I think she understands why I'm crying - gets why I'm sad... Because I think she is too. I know she missed Bella, at least a first, but I think now, even a month later, Psyche still has moments like I do - oh where's Bella? She's gotta see this! But she's not here to see. And I think that's just as hard on both of us.
Psyche sleeps in one of Bella's old spots - the spot up by my head and pillow where Bella used to lay her head, her big German shepherd body crammed into my lower back. Now a smaller dog lays there. I sometimes wonder if it makes her feel closer to Bella. I know being in my bedroom makes me feel closer to her. Most of my memories of her are in this room, or at least the more fresh ones. I'm scared for the day when even the fresh ones seem old. I'm scared for when I grow old and forget the little stores about my Bella. I'm terrified I'll lose her completely by forgetting. I don't ever want to forget."
It's been really rough for me - I won't even attempt to hide that from you, it wouldn't be possible. But I can say with all of my heart that the only reason I've managed to be as strong as I'm being is because of Psyche. She's keeping me going, reminding me that I need to get up and live my life, I can't just spend my time crying over what can't be changed now. She looks at me with her soulful eyes and I can't say no to her, I can't not be the owner she needs me to be, because I know she needs me to help her deal with the pain of this loss, and her way of dealing is to be with me, and be happy with me. I think in a way she understands better then I ever will how Bella would want me to be living. I know Bella would want me happy, but that doesn't mean it's easy to just do that.
A friend of mine, Abby, who I thank for being there for me, recently mentioned to me a song, and I'm so grateful she did. It's called Yesterdays by Switchfoot and the lyrics so a special something that seems to ease my soul. I thought I'd share those lyrics with you all, simply because it makes me happy to do so.
Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free
The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone, oh...
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I'm with you, I'll carry on
Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you're free
I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me
I'll carry on
Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
So long my friend, so long
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free
The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone, oh...
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I'm with you, I'll carry on
Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you're free
I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me
I'll carry on
Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
So long my friend, so long
I know the lyrics are kind of morbid and sad, but they don't make me feel that way... The "you're free" bit gives me a great deal of comfort, because I know, Bella is free. From all her demons, from all her problems, from all her downfalls. She's free of all the mental suffering she's endured through out her short life... Bella's soul is free, free to find a spot that makes her happy and comfortable until we meet again. However she comes back to me, if at all, or even if I wait to see her at the bridge some day, I can't wait for that, but I know she wouldn't want the moment for me to cross that bridge with her to come too soon, and so until the time comes, I hope my baby is happy and free somewheres.
You're free, Bella.
You're free, Bella.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I woke from a dream of you last night.
This is my first real post since losing Bella, not counting her memorial post, which was just a copy and paste jobbie.
It's been one month and two days now, and that one month and two days have been the hardest of my life. Everyday there's a second where I border on the edge of a mental break down, no matter where I am - school, the bus, at home alone, out in public with family. I'm just 100%, undoubtedly, uncontrollably sad.
On Sunday night, the night of one month, I had a dream of Bella. I was walking into a building/room, with walls painted light blue, and when I came in, I looked ahead of me, and there was Bella. I remember her coming up to me, doing her happy dance, jumping up but not toughing, spinning in joy, and rubbing against my legs, and then she put her front paws up and stood with me holding her upper body close like we used to, and instead of her being her happy, wiggly self that she usually is at that point, she just calmed and rested there happily in my arms, just soaking in being together.
I told this to my sister, who lost her beloved mare to colic years back, and she told me not to be sad, but to think of it as Bella telling me she's okay, healthy and happy, but that she misses me, and I think she's right. And I hope she's right. I can't stand to think of Bella as just dead. She's not. She's gone, but her spirit is waiting to find it's way back to me some how in this realm, or waiting for my spirit to make it's way to the place hers is, and at this point I need to believe that I will see her again someday, somehow, because that's the only way I can function.
I don't know what to say to you all, or how to keep it happy and joyful when my heart is neither happy nor joyful. I'm full almost to the edge of sorrow and upset over losing my best friend, my heart dog, my Bella. However, there are moments of each day where her memories make me smile and allow the pain to slip away for long enough for me to enjoy my other dogs without the nagging thought of "If this was with Bella, it'd be even better."
I've stopped feeling guilty over being the one to decide it was time for her life to end. There's no point beating myself up about it - she's gone. Now I'm full of sadness and fear because she's gone, and I'm scared so much that someday I will forget her memories she's left behind, and I don't want that to ever happen.
I'm making it, day by day. I've lost animals before, but never in my short life has it ever hurt this much. You know you've had something special when it takes this long to even consider a way to function normally with the pain over the loss.
I'm not sure what will be done with the blog. I don't want it to fade away, I want it to stay, representing Bella in her life. You mostly all heard the good things, and that's what I want the world to see, for now. Someday I'll tell the whole story of Bella, and my life before and after her, but as of right now, I want to keep most of that to myself. I will keep using the blog for memories of Bella, "that time when....", I think. I'd be happy doing that, putting my memories somewhere where I wont forget them. And you may even see some training/general updates of my other girls too, since they're what's keeping me even a little bit happy these days. I don't know what I'd do without them.
I guess that's all for now, folks. Just hang with me for a little bit - it's going to take a while for my posts to go from sad to happy again, but I just need to get it out.
It's been one month and two days now, and that one month and two days have been the hardest of my life. Everyday there's a second where I border on the edge of a mental break down, no matter where I am - school, the bus, at home alone, out in public with family. I'm just 100%, undoubtedly, uncontrollably sad.
On Sunday night, the night of one month, I had a dream of Bella. I was walking into a building/room, with walls painted light blue, and when I came in, I looked ahead of me, and there was Bella. I remember her coming up to me, doing her happy dance, jumping up but not toughing, spinning in joy, and rubbing against my legs, and then she put her front paws up and stood with me holding her upper body close like we used to, and instead of her being her happy, wiggly self that she usually is at that point, she just calmed and rested there happily in my arms, just soaking in being together.
I told this to my sister, who lost her beloved mare to colic years back, and she told me not to be sad, but to think of it as Bella telling me she's okay, healthy and happy, but that she misses me, and I think she's right. And I hope she's right. I can't stand to think of Bella as just dead. She's not. She's gone, but her spirit is waiting to find it's way back to me some how in this realm, or waiting for my spirit to make it's way to the place hers is, and at this point I need to believe that I will see her again someday, somehow, because that's the only way I can function.
I don't know what to say to you all, or how to keep it happy and joyful when my heart is neither happy nor joyful. I'm full almost to the edge of sorrow and upset over losing my best friend, my heart dog, my Bella. However, there are moments of each day where her memories make me smile and allow the pain to slip away for long enough for me to enjoy my other dogs without the nagging thought of "If this was with Bella, it'd be even better."
I've stopped feeling guilty over being the one to decide it was time for her life to end. There's no point beating myself up about it - she's gone. Now I'm full of sadness and fear because she's gone, and I'm scared so much that someday I will forget her memories she's left behind, and I don't want that to ever happen.
I'm making it, day by day. I've lost animals before, but never in my short life has it ever hurt this much. You know you've had something special when it takes this long to even consider a way to function normally with the pain over the loss.
I'm not sure what will be done with the blog. I don't want it to fade away, I want it to stay, representing Bella in her life. You mostly all heard the good things, and that's what I want the world to see, for now. Someday I'll tell the whole story of Bella, and my life before and after her, but as of right now, I want to keep most of that to myself. I will keep using the blog for memories of Bella, "that time when....", I think. I'd be happy doing that, putting my memories somewhere where I wont forget them. And you may even see some training/general updates of my other girls too, since they're what's keeping me even a little bit happy these days. I don't know what I'd do without them.
I guess that's all for now, folks. Just hang with me for a little bit - it's going to take a while for my posts to go from sad to happy again, but I just need to get it out.
Friday, September 17, 2010
To the best dog who has ever been mine.
READ: I guess I was proved wrong from my earlier post. Things in this household went downhill. Real downhill.
-----
February 11th, 2007 - September 17th, 2010
Today I made the very tough decision to say good-bye to my heart dog until we meet again, and to end a journey she and I had started together. Today ranks in one of the saddest, and hardest days of my life.
I didn't even know how to begin saying good-bye to a dog that has become my life, my love, my best friend, my everything, but I had to. On Tuesday night Bella attacked Zoey, leaving Zoey torn and lame. That was strike three for Bella, and we realized what we thought we had solved by rehoming Gyp hadn't and it was still a problem, and one we didn't know how to fix. After talking to vets we decided it was a mental thing with Bella, and always has been.
I spent the last two days crying, cuddling, and sleeping. I was sick thinking I'd be saying good-bye. This morning I woke up, cuddled her, took her for her last van ride, and then let her go out in the field with Morrie and Psyche to have one last romp. As we were cooling off in her little kiddie pool the vet drove down the drive way (we had him come and do it here on the farm to be easier for her and I) and I prepared to say good-bye. I wasn't ready for him to be there yet, but looking at it now, I don't think I would have ever been ready for it.
As he got out of the car Bella gave me one last reason to brag about what a great dog she was. She greeted him with such grace and happiness that you'd never guess she had issues with people when I first brought her home.
She passed easily enough, with her face buried in my neck, while I cried repeating "you're a good girl, Bella. A good girl."; I just didn't want her to go without her knowing that. I watched as her beautiful soul left the vessel she had loved me in, and I cried. For lost chances, for failure, for Bella and I losing the chance to grow our love even stronger.
My sister snapped this shot today while we were playing, and for that I'm grateful.
I'm holding on, and I'll stay strong, because I know that's what Bella would want, but I don't feel right. My body is missing something, and I know that a part of my being left Bella's body with her soul today.
So cry a tear for us, as we part our ways until we meet again.
We'll meet again, Bella, and when we do, I'll love you just as much or more. Time will never erase the memories you've given me, or the lessons you've taught me. Rest easy, Baby Girl, I miss you like crazy.
-----
February 11th, 2007 - September 17th, 2010
Today I made the very tough decision to say good-bye to my heart dog until we meet again, and to end a journey she and I had started together. Today ranks in one of the saddest, and hardest days of my life.
I didn't even know how to begin saying good-bye to a dog that has become my life, my love, my best friend, my everything, but I had to. On Tuesday night Bella attacked Zoey, leaving Zoey torn and lame. That was strike three for Bella, and we realized what we thought we had solved by rehoming Gyp hadn't and it was still a problem, and one we didn't know how to fix. After talking to vets we decided it was a mental thing with Bella, and always has been.
I spent the last two days crying, cuddling, and sleeping. I was sick thinking I'd be saying good-bye. This morning I woke up, cuddled her, took her for her last van ride, and then let her go out in the field with Morrie and Psyche to have one last romp. As we were cooling off in her little kiddie pool the vet drove down the drive way (we had him come and do it here on the farm to be easier for her and I) and I prepared to say good-bye. I wasn't ready for him to be there yet, but looking at it now, I don't think I would have ever been ready for it.
As he got out of the car Bella gave me one last reason to brag about what a great dog she was. She greeted him with such grace and happiness that you'd never guess she had issues with people when I first brought her home.
She passed easily enough, with her face buried in my neck, while I cried repeating "you're a good girl, Bella. A good girl."; I just didn't want her to go without her knowing that. I watched as her beautiful soul left the vessel she had loved me in, and I cried. For lost chances, for failure, for Bella and I losing the chance to grow our love even stronger.
My sister snapped this shot today while we were playing, and for that I'm grateful.
I'm holding on, and I'll stay strong, because I know that's what Bella would want, but I don't feel right. My body is missing something, and I know that a part of my being left Bella's body with her soul today.
So cry a tear for us, as we part our ways until we meet again.
We'll meet again, Bella, and when we do, I'll love you just as much or more. Time will never erase the memories you've given me, or the lessons you've taught me. Rest easy, Baby Girl, I miss you like crazy.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Woah, I still suck at blogging!
Well, yeah. I'm not going to lie and say I'm good at this, 'cause obviously I'm not.
Anyway, here's the general update. Bella and I quit agility classes, because she got loose one night after the classes were done and she went after another dog. I hesitated there, not knowing what to call what happened. She got her crate open (even though I was certain I had my "back up lock" on it) and she went after a Pyre that happened to be out and training at the time, as soon as she got there, she grabbed for him, and got only a mouth full of hair (even more reason for me to love the breed) - and just then I said "Bella, here!" and she dropped the entire event like it had never happened, came over to me, and calmly walked back to her crate without even thinking about going back towards the dog. It was a strange event, and not as serious as some things I've seen her do with our dogs, but still enough for me to say no to anymore classes with her.
So she and I have been mostly doing nothing. We cuddle, and chill, and just enjoy the lazy life. But still, I feel bad not doing anything with her, and I miss working with her, because she's honestly a love to train, when she's not reacting.
The other day, yesterday, to be exact, I was going to the agility field with Zoey and Psyche for some work, and I said "what the heck, let's bring Bella too." and so Bella came along. We worked on some agility stuff, and she did great. It was only me and my mom there, so only dogs she knew, and she handled it all really well. We worked on some jump stuff, the tire, the chute, tunnels, and her contacts - working on getting a 2o2o. She loved working with me yesterday, and I loved working her.
I think here begins the road of "at home, at the field, at the barn for FUN only training". I don't ever want to trial her - ever. However, I'm thinking I'd like to be able to take her out, set up a course, and run it. And since I'm doing that with the other two for training anyway, why the heck not?
So that's how she goes right now. Bella's doing incredibly well now that Gyp's in a new, happy home (Gypie's a JOGGER NOW! Can you imagine? Fat, tubby, doesn't even like to go for walks with us, Gypie is a JOGGER! So happy for the girl!) and all the dogs are happy to live together in peace.
I love these peaceful days, and I'll cherish them forever, because I never know weather or not the last time we had a huge inner family issue was the last. I live a day to day life with Bella.
School has started, so no promises I'll keep this blog updated.. but here's a picture to make up for that, or at least try.
Anyway, here's the general update. Bella and I quit agility classes, because she got loose one night after the classes were done and she went after another dog. I hesitated there, not knowing what to call what happened. She got her crate open (even though I was certain I had my "back up lock" on it) and she went after a Pyre that happened to be out and training at the time, as soon as she got there, she grabbed for him, and got only a mouth full of hair (even more reason for me to love the breed) - and just then I said "Bella, here!" and she dropped the entire event like it had never happened, came over to me, and calmly walked back to her crate without even thinking about going back towards the dog. It was a strange event, and not as serious as some things I've seen her do with our dogs, but still enough for me to say no to anymore classes with her.
So she and I have been mostly doing nothing. We cuddle, and chill, and just enjoy the lazy life. But still, I feel bad not doing anything with her, and I miss working with her, because she's honestly a love to train, when she's not reacting.
The other day, yesterday, to be exact, I was going to the agility field with Zoey and Psyche for some work, and I said "what the heck, let's bring Bella too." and so Bella came along. We worked on some agility stuff, and she did great. It was only me and my mom there, so only dogs she knew, and she handled it all really well. We worked on some jump stuff, the tire, the chute, tunnels, and her contacts - working on getting a 2o2o. She loved working with me yesterday, and I loved working her.
I think here begins the road of "at home, at the field, at the barn for FUN only training". I don't ever want to trial her - ever. However, I'm thinking I'd like to be able to take her out, set up a course, and run it. And since I'm doing that with the other two for training anyway, why the heck not?
So that's how she goes right now. Bella's doing incredibly well now that Gyp's in a new, happy home (Gypie's a JOGGER NOW! Can you imagine? Fat, tubby, doesn't even like to go for walks with us, Gypie is a JOGGER! So happy for the girl!) and all the dogs are happy to live together in peace.
I love these peaceful days, and I'll cherish them forever, because I never know weather or not the last time we had a huge inner family issue was the last. I live a day to day life with Bella.
School has started, so no promises I'll keep this blog updated.. but here's a picture to make up for that, or at least try.
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