Going For 'Good Dog!'

Similarities in the breed, or in the dog?

2012-01-30T13:03:00.003-04:00

Bella, to me, was always a little different. She was a lot like what I was told a GSD should be, but also very different. That was, and still is, okay with me. Difference makes the world go 'round. But now, as I live with Simi, I'm seeing a lot of similarities between the two.

Although Simi is a much better bred GSD than Bella, she still has some of those little quirks that have got me flashing back to moments of Bella doing the same, or very similar, thing.

It's just got me thinking... was Bella more like a GSD than I thought, or is Simi more like Bella than I could have ever dreamed...

She's on fire!

2012-01-24T09:42:00.003-04:00

Psyche and I hadn't been out to the agility barn for winter training since at least before Christmas, I'm thinking. We've gone once all season. But we went out on Sunday and had a lot of fun.

It wasn't a busy day -- there were only 2 people there, 3 working dogs total between us, plus Simi, who didn't do much. We decided we were going to work on some weave drills, and since Psyche hasn't done any in a while, that was a-okay with me. She was ON FIRE! She was totally 'on' and she was just ripping. And doing pretty well with her weaves, too. There were a couple times at first she was struggling with them, but it was 12 poles and we haven't done agility in ages. However, before long she was hitting her weaves and nailing them nicely. Good girlie.

She did have a few stressy moments, but there were far more success moments. I got some video, that Bev, the other lady there, filmed for me on her camera, since mine was dead, that I'm working on getting onto the computer and into a video, so stay tuned for that.

This requires a blog entry.

2012-01-22T19:07:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was the 'January Thaw' a horse-related trade fair where every horse lover in the local area comes out and celebrates their ponies fuzzy coats.. okay, not really. They actually come to spend money and socialize.

Anyway! Thinking I'd go help mom with her booth for a little while, then go to Simi's breeders for some training, I brought Simi along... and also because come on, lots of people, new place, new smells... need I say more? GREAT training opportunity! So I bring Simi along with me, and since her crate is buried under tubs and tubs of mom's stuff, she has to help me help unpack. So I take things I can easily carry and still manage a puppy and start in. Simi walks into the building like it's nothing. No fear. Loose leash, offering eye contact, calm cool and collected.

From there I set her crate up and we started socializing. She met LOTS of new people. Like, I mean a lot. I'd be trying to take her out to pee and people would be like "*squee* PUPPY!" and stop me, and we'd have to wait. That said, a lot of people did just look from a far until I'd say "You can pet her if you want -- she's here to meet new people!" She also met a lot of new dogs. I believe there were 2 Great Danes, Pit Bull, English Bulldog, French Bulldog, Golden, Bernese Mountain Dog, and a couple of Boston Terriers. She didn't like the Bulldogs much, or the Pit Bull much, but I think that had a lot to do with the situations that they met in. The Pittie pulled it's owner over to us, then backed her into a wall of stuff and was standing over her in a friendly, but obnoxious, manner. As for the Bulldogs, well, I don't really know about those. I think she didn't like the Frenchie because it was wearing clothes, but either way, I took my clicker and treats out and worked on it and she was fine then... so really, for it being her first time meeting new dogs, I think she did okay.

Then today she turned 4 months, and went to the barn with Psyche and I for some agility. She didn't do much other than play with Psyche and their friend Cyclone. We did do a few restrained recalls, though, and some racing to the tug toy, one tunnel and a few sit-stays with a release to me, over a bar less jump, just to get her used to the jump standards.

Can't believe how grown up she's starting to act! Well, not really... she's just getting good at pretending to be a good dog out in public!

2012-01-14T16:38:00.002-04:00

Transitioning Rewards

2012-01-08T10:44:00.002-04:00

The last few weeks I've not been using any treats at all with Simi's training. We've been working on her down with the tug as a reward, offering behaviors in general, and Friday we went to the vet and she was offered her tug instead of treats throughout. She's been doing really well and she's really doing well with tugging in general. I found her to be a little leery in her tugging before. She wanted the tug, but she wasn't going to fight you to get it, but as we've worked with no treats her enthusiasm is getting better and better! She's "fighting" a lot more to keep the tug and that's what I like to see.

Anyway! Today I was working on holding her back while I threw the tug out ahead. We've done it a few times before, but she usually just saunters over, grabs it and plays with it by herself. Today the first time she RAN to the tug, got it and came about half way back to me with it, so not wanting to let this be a session where she learns she can run to get it and dink off bringing it back, I went and grabbed four treats. I was only going to try with the treats because I fully expected her to just lose interest in my tug when I had treats. She got a treat for giving me the tug the first time, and after that we did three reps. Driving towards the tug and bringing me the toy back. She wasn't crazy fast about bringing it back, but by the third rep she was catching on.

But the cherry on top is that she was fine with bringing the toy back, getting a treat, tugging some, then setting up to do it all again. There was no loss of interest in the tug, and honestly, at one point she wanted to keep the tug, not take the treat. Can't say I'm going to complain about that one!

Just a very small victory, but worth enough to me to share!

And that said, Simi did very well at the vets office. She got her last round of shots and is a "big dog" now. Time to start getting out and about even more and meeting new dogs! At the vets office she was very keen to play with a lab that was there (but did NOT want to play with her) and really, she was being flat out obnoxious trying to play, so I've got to start getting a handle on that. She happily met all of the staff, though, and gave kisses to all. And at one point during our actual visit with the vet she pranced over to where I'd sat her tug, grabbed it and started playing with it, so while I talked to the vet we tugged. I was VERY pleased with that. New person, new place, new smells, new situation, and she still wants to tug with me? Score!

Anywho, that's about all for now. I'll try to get some fresh video of her soon.

Training Goals : 2012

2012-01-05T15:52:00.002-04:00

I guess it's about time I do this, huh?

I've been thinking about where I'd like each dog to be by the end of 2012. It's been hard because I don't know where I will physically be. I may not still be in New Brunswick, so I don't know what clubs I'll be training with, etc. I've also been on a waiting list about my ankle that I'll find out more about this year, so I don't know if I'll be able to run, if I'll be being operated on, all of that. It's hard to say, so I was hesitant to make a "list" of things I want to do by the end of 2012, because I don't want to look back at the end and be disappointed for not having reached each goal.

So this is a draft of my goals that will never have a "good copy", really.

Zoey
With Zoey I'd mostly just like her to be happy and healthy. She's more or less retired, but I've been throwing around the idea of getting her obedience better and maybe looking into some therapy work with her. She loves people so much this is likely what she'd be happiest doing.

Psyche
For Psyche my one biggest goal is to be able to be stress free at a trial by the end of the year. This might mean lots of trials or not very many at all. We're starting some private lessons that should help, and so hopefully by May/June we'll know just how likely that wish to trial will be.

I'd also like to teach her a boat load more tricks and just have fun with her. She's a fun dog, and I don't want to waste any time I've got with her not taking advantage of that fun.

Crash
With Crash I'd like to have him sequencing and doing most if not all obstacles by late-June. I've got two friends coming from Maryland to visit and they both do agility, so I'd like for them to be able to work him when they come, since I don't know how well Psyche will work for them. I'm also thinking maybe a trial by the end of the year. It's hard to say. It all depends a lot on what I have for equipment here, where I'll be, what I'll be doing for work, etc., and how much training I can actually do with him.

I'd also like to start him on sheep and see where we can go from there.

And of course, a continuation of the work on his anxiety.

Simi
With Simi I've got "big" hopes and dreams but they're not really big tasks. I'd like her to be well on her way to her BH by the end of the year, start in agility classes and working as appropriate for a only slightly over a year old puppy. And maybe somewhere in that year get her CGN title. And to start in sheep herding. So agility, schutzhund and herding. Sounds like a lot, right?

Over all, I just want to love my dogs and see them happy and healthy for many more years.

Sometimes you don't need words.

2012-01-04T23:41:00.002-04:00

Tug = life.

2011-12-28T16:27:00.002-04:00

Or at least that's what Simi seems to think today. I had just a random rope toy we leave laying around today and was tugging with Simi and I grabbed it from her, and held it where she couldn't reach. Of course, her first thought was to jump on me and try and bite me... so she did. But then after that she sat back, looked at me, barked at me... looked at me... then offered a down. Good puppy! So we played like that a little more until I went and got her real tug, to which she responded with a "ohemgee yay dead thing!" which roughly translates from Simineese to English as many excited jumps and biting. So we did the same thing some more with that tug, and by the end of it there was no hesitation from her sit to her down, just stop tugging, look at me, sit-down. No waiting between which there has been in every other session before.

I was having a hard time using treats and getting her to offer a down quickly. Whodathunk all I needed to do was whip out the tug toy?

Lots of Jibber Jabber.

2011-12-27T11:34:00.003-04:00

So nothing new worth posting has really happened, but I have cute pictures to post so I might as well throw some words in there, I guess.

Zoey's been really clingly lately, but oh so adorable. She and Rhyme and Tinky got into a little fight the other night and she got a good wound on her belly, so I think that might have a lot to do with the clingy thing. Rhyme was pretty good about the fight though and let go of her right away, which she doesn't always do. Sadly, with 7 dogs, arguments between our 5 bitches happen sometimes.

Crash is as adorable as ever. I've decided I want to start working on his agility stuff this winter. I'm really kicking myself for not doing it last summer but I don't think he was quite ready for it, mentally, then. I think he is now. That said, if I'd have started him last summer he'd be ready for trials this up coming summer and he'd be doing some serious training at the barn with me this winter. I guess part of me doesn't want to do agility with him, because I'm already way to attached to him, and Dad wants to keep him when I leave, so I don't know... I might be able to talk Dad into letting me take him. We'll face that when we get to it.

Psyche is still the most amazing dog I've ever met. She's so perfect. Even with all of her "issues". Speaking of! We've found a trainer who's going to work with us on those problems and we start on the 20th of January. Starting 2012 right. (I can't remember if I've already mentioned this here or not?) But I'm really excited for the lessons. We'll be traveling 2 hours each way to get there... but I don't even care. We're probably only going to do one or two a month, but the trainer thinks that'll be enough and that we'll make some improvements. Mom is going to be going with Tinky, too, so that's good. I really hope this helps mom and Tinky, as well as Psyche and I, because mom really needs the encouragement with Tinky.

Simi is awesome. She's so much fun to be around and she's starting to look less like a little tiny mutant thing and more like an awkward young dog. It's great! Her ears are finally starting to return to vertical, rather than flopped over, and thank god for that. No one's gonna take my little schutzhund dog serious if her ears fall over her face. I still haven't been teaching her much of anything, but we've done lots of work on sits and some on her down, which she'll offer, just takes some time to offer/think of, but I'm wanting to get back to her tugging because she's having a hard time going from treats to the tug, and I want it to be the other way around. Tug is awesome, treats are just okay.

Anyway... From my crew to yours, happy holidays!

Missing Bella

2011-12-19T23:41:00.003-04:00

As Christmas is fast approaching, I'm reminded again this year of my lack of heart dog. I try to stay happy, and for the most part succeed, but times get tough and it gets hard not to really, really miss Bella.

Things have changed so much in the year and a little bit she's been gone. When the idea that someday I'd loose Bella to her mental issues first arose, I told my mom, "If I can't have Bella, I don't want to do the dog thing anymore." My days leading up to losing Bella were spent upset that I was losing her and half convincing myself I'd have to find homes for Psyche and Zoey because I didn't think I could do this, this dog loving, putting my heart and soul into things, all of that, if I didn't have Bella there to drive me onward. I tell people about this now and tears come to my eyes, because I can't imagine my life without Zoey, Psyche or the other dogs now in my life. Psyche pulled me through losing Bella. I don't know how she did it, but she did. Psyche is a soft dog. She's timid, fragile even, and yet, when I needed her most she was the strongest pillar in my life. She never wavered when the wind blew at me and tried to push me down, when the world gave way beneath me and tried to make me fall, when the heat bore down on me and tried to make me hide--through all of that, Psyche was strong, despite her weaknesses.

And now, coming up on my second Christmas without her, I've added two more dogs to my canine family and I couldn't be happier. Crash came into my life after turning down a puppy from my dream bitch's litter. I had decided I wasn't ready for another dog... and then Crash came along. He needed me and someone, somewhere decided I needed him, because for some reason I brought him home as a foster and now he's here for good. There have been moments in having him that I've looked at him and swore that Bella was looking out his eyes at me. He gave me the challenge I hadn't had since Bella, just not as extreme.

With Simi I don't relate her to Bella at all. They're totally different dogs, even though they're both German Shepherds. Simi is different and I still love her, but she'll never be Bella. But that's okay. I don't want another Bella. I had the real Bella, and she was Bella--there's no replacing her. That said, there are times that Simi settles down for just a few seconds longer than others and a part of me thinks there's a connection being made there... that Bella's looking down, smiling, happy that Simi and I have finally been matched up. Who knows. Maybe Simi's what Bella would have been like had she been normal, maybe she's not, either way, Simi is her own dog and as much as I feared at first I'd try to make her live up to Bella's standards emotionally, I'm not. My heart tells me that even though they will be similar in breed-type ways, they are not the same dog and my heart is right. Just the other night Simi and I were outside and I picked her up and while I looked up at the stars, she stilled in my arms and titled her head up to the sky, and I knew then that Bella was smiling down at us. Call me crazy if you want, I can live with that, but I know when things are right, and they are now.

As for Little Zoey, I'll admit, the first year was hard. There were days I looked at her, after just losing Bella, and there was blame in my mind. It wasn't fair to Zoey and I never said anything about it, but it was hard to look at Zoey and not see her as the reason that I'd lost Bella. That has changed though. Zoey no longer represents Bella's bad days. In my mind, she and Bella are still what they used to be when they ran the back pasture together, friends, and when Bella jumped off a snow bank on top of her, to which Zoey responded by doing the same to Bella, the swims in the pond where Bella could actually coax Zoey into the water; those first moments together where nothing stopped them from loving each other unconditionally, without hesitation. Those were some of Bella's best moments and Zoey helps me remember them. They may not have been friendly at the end, but that wasn't the same Bella we knew at the beginning, the one who's mind hadn't yet been polluted by disease. The puppy who took everything that happened in her life and let it go with the wind; she forgave and forgot. Zoey knew the real Bella; the Bella Bella wanted to be and tried to be, right up to her last minutes.

So as much as I miss Bella, she will always live on. In my heart, memories and the stories I share of her, yes, but also in my dogs who were there when she lived and in my dogs who have come since losing her and who have yet to come. She influenced who I am today and in doing that she made me a better person, better capable of caring for the canine family I've been given and will be given.

I owe more than I could have ever imagined to that hairy, hyper, long tailed mutt. I miss you, Boo.

Here's the scoop on Simi.

2011-12-15T11:14:00.004-04:00

Just wanting to let you all know how Simi's been doing, how life's going with her, and how things are in general about Simi.

Her ears are, of course, still doing some very wonky things, but she's completely adorable, no matter what. She was going through a spell when she first came home with soft stool, and that was hard to deal with for me. There's a lot of stress around this puppy. I'm so worried about keeping her healthy and perfect that the smallest thing stresses me out. She's doing fine now, though, after some more adjustment time and a trip to the vet (where they said nothing was wrong!).

In terms of training, we haven't done much. She's got her sit pretty much solid, no matter the situation and she offers it all the time. We've mostly just been doing lots of playing and tugging and being happy. She has, however, gone out and about a fair bit. Last weekend we were out Friday, Saturday and Sunday and she did great each day!

Friday was a trip to the vet for her next set of shots and her nails to be trimmed. At that point, I hadn't really had her on leash much besides in the house, fooling around, and so she was a little iffy about that, but with some help from "her girl" (Brooke, the little girl I watch every night who comes to see her once a week) she was good to go and pranced into the vets office, greeted everyone, then came back and sat at my feet and watched with interest at the happenings.

Saturday I decided I wanted to take her to town to get some new textures, locations, smells and sights. We went to Boot's new home (seen above with her) to let them visit with him before he goes home and we had our first real session of walking loosely on a leash beside me. We were happily wondering along, leash loose, clicking and treating after no time at all. She was offering sits and eye contact like crazy! She loves to work for me.

We went to PetSmart after that, where she was allowed to meet lots of new people, but I kept dogs away from her, just to be safe. She was mauled with attention, to say the least. She accepted all the cooing and aweing, though, with ease and was offering me eye contact every chance she could. At one point she'd been picked up and put on someone's lap, and even with them snuggling her, she was still watching me.

On Sunday we went to the Costco parking lot. That was an experience. Not too many people stopped to pat her, but lots of cars going by, people walking by, shopping carts, etc.. She was loose lead walking along side me, no problems. Our only issue we ran into, really, was that there were cigarette butts all over the ground and she kept thinking they were really great treats. Urgh. I wish people would think of things like that before flinging them everywhere, but I digress. She was really good. I was quite proud, to be honest. You'd think I'd been training her a lot more often than I actually am.

On both Saturday and Sunday she had her picture taken with Santa. On Saturday with Boots and the picture was CRAP. So we went in for a re-shoot Sunday and got a much better shot, all by herself, so I've got a good memory of her first Christmas.

Over all, we're using everything we do as a learning opportunity without making it a structured training situation. I don't want to burn her out without too much learning, but at the same time, I want her to learn, so I'm trying to keep it a happy medium. Everyday we plan and she learns more and more about how to play, be confident and happy. Really, what I want is a dog who can control themselves in any situation I need to put them in and who can be confident in new areas. Simi doesn't seem to have a problem with any of this yet.

Snow's here!

2011-12-14T09:30:00.003-04:00

So winter has arrived on Rocky Valley Farms and snow has filled our agility field to the point that it was finally time to pick it all up and put it away.

I donned my boots, jacket, shark hat and gloves and went out to try and dig my jumps out and I brought Psyche along. She mostly just ran around and goofed off until I was done and when I spoke to her to get her going along, she came over excitedly bouncing, tail wagging looking at me with a 'what we gonna do, Momma?' look, and so I half-heartedly attempted some agility with her. No toy in my hands at all, no treats, no "reward" other than my voice and myself. She eagerly did a 8 obstacle sequence, very fast, very committed and at the end threw herself into my arms, tail wagging and licked my face.

This was a monumental moment for Psyche and I. I've known all along that Psyche loved agility and it's clear she loves me, but I've never been able to get her to realize how much fun both of those things are, without a toy.

It might have been a one time thing, but hey, it happened and that gives me a little bit of hope that someday it can happen consistently and that day will be great.

Good Uppy!

2011-12-09T21:12:00.002-04:00

So Simi went for her second set of shots today, and she was such a good girl.

I haven't really done much leash work with her at this point, honestly, but today I took her to the vet with a collar and leash, and it took a few times of Brooke (her little girl) getting down and speaking to her but then she was happily coming with us.

She went into the office and she greeted everyone happily and then promptly came back and laid down at my feet and took everything in. She then went into the room and got her needle, as well as her nails trimmed and was super good, even though the vet made her bleed giving her the shot, and then we happily trotted out of the office.

I'm just very pleased with how she handles herself in new situations. She only got slightly excited when a Golden made eye contact with her, and she totally wanted to play with him, but when she realized it wasn't time to play, she just laid back down.

This is a stick-up!

2011-11-30T23:17:00.002-04:00

We worked more on Psyche's newest task tonight.. I think I'm going to call it "Stick up!" so I can sing to her the song of my people (Okay, I'm tried, can you tell?) with a "this is a stick-up and no I didn't hickup or stutter it's like butter y'all go and put your hands up." Or I'll call it hands up.

Anyway! It's just her going from a sit to balancing on her bum with both paws off the ground, preferably held up HIGH.

Last night we left off with a little rocking. She was picking one paw up, then the other, and only bringing the second foot up a tiny bit, but I rewarded high. Tonight she started by straight up offering a full both paws off, flung up high on the first try. Jackpot.

So we worked more on that and she did have a few stalls but I just waited her out and she figured out. There was some sniffing the floor so a little bit of stress, but that only happened a couple of times. Uh-oh. Time to find a new trick, she's not failing often enough!

This trick is going to be adorable. My dog is adorable.

Also, on a non-Psyche related note, I taught Crash "Saaad" the other day, so now on the command "are you saaad, Crashee/are you saaad, Psychee?" both of the twins will drop their heads to the floor and stare up at me. Crash's still needs a little work, but once I get it so the verbal is solid there will be twin-sadness pictures/video.

It's okay to get it wrong.

2011-11-29T22:39:00.003-04:00

I'm on another crazy streak. Paired with the threshold work I've been doing with Psyche, I'd like to start teaching her that it's okay to "fail".

Of course she never gets a "OH NO, bad bad dog. You did it wrong! Bad!" and she sure as heck never gets a "haha, loser, you did it wrong", but Psyche is a really soft dog and she really lacks confidence. So I got to reading and researching today and started thinking, well maybe if I teach her that failing is okay then she'll get a little more confident, and maybe that will help with her agility issues, and if not, well heck, it'll teach her lots of tricks.

So we're starting a Shaping Challenge. I haven't yet decided the rules of that shaping challenge for myself and Psyche, but we're going to start with doing some perch work... or at least try to.

I'll keep y'all updated on how it goes. This dog loves shaping, but I only ever do it when I want her to learn how to DO something... now I want her to learn how to accept when she didn't do it.

The after thoughts: So I started to work on some perch work with her and because I've done other work with a similar prop (we've worked on putting her face and paws on a "podium" and adding her "sad" trick on top of that) she was really struggling and I was too, so I decided to try something completely new. And I'll be honest, I had no idea what it was going to be when I decided to start working on it.

The "perch work" we tried was really good for her. Because I was asking for something new, and because she already had an idea of what she wanted to offer there were lots of times she'd try everything we'd already done on this similar prop and then just sit there and think "well, now what...?" and I just waited her out. It used to be that I would "start over" from there. If she came to a stand still I'd help her along a little bit. Today I just waited until she decided to try something new. I realized that before if she was 'failing' I was right away saying "oh, that's okay, let's try again!" Now I always knew my shaping had a little luring mixed in *tisk tisk* but I didn't realize how much until tonight. Wow. So I waited her out tonight. I just waited. And it was good for me, if nothing else.

I then moved her onto a new trick all together. She likes using her paws, so I decided we'd do a new "paw based" trick, I just didn't know what... so I waited until she offered something new that I liked and went from there then decided what I wanted. What I want: For her to raise both front feet off the ground and paw/beg at the air. So tonight to try and get to that I clicked pawing the air, then rewarded her high. By the end of it she was starting to get a little bounce in it so those were jackpots and we ended on that. I videoed it all and learned a few things already. One being that I need to keep my sessions shorter--holy clips! And I also witnessed again those moments where she shut down and stressed a bit (panting, looking around, sniffing the air) and then the moments where she "came back" and was back in the game...

Anything's worth a shot, right?

I guess it's about time for an introduction.

2011-11-24T11:52:00.004-04:00

Today is her 13th day here, so I'd say it's pretty official. Time to introduce the little demon; Simi.

Simi is a 9 week old German Shepherd Dog puppy. She's from a local breeder who breeds really nice working line dogs and does very well with her dogs in competitions of all levels.

I'd been planning a GSD pup from this breeder since before I lost Bella. I wasn't sure when I'd be getting the pup, but when I lost Bella the idea of a puppy kind of was dropped, anyway. Then on my 18th birthday, mom told me I'd be getting a puppy out of my dream bitch and that we were going to see the litter that day. So we went and met them, and I fell for a little puppy... and then life got in the way and that girl didn't end up coming to live with me. Things don't always work out like you'd planned, but everything happens for a reason.

After that Crash came home, and that alone was pushing back my puppy plans a lot.

But then, somehow, by some stroke of luck, when a litter by my favorite male was born, I was lucky enough to get a girl from that litter. They were a big litter; 10 in total, 6 females. When we went in to see them the breeder left only the females in the pen and put the boys in crates. From there we went in, Mom and I sat down at the same time and this one little puppy came to be while the others went to Mom. I was so overwhelmed by all the sable pups I couldn't tell one from the other, so the breeder started to go through the personalities of each. From there I actually liked the breeder's pick to keep the best, so she took her and a few others who wouldn't suit my needs out and left me with 3. Simi was among those three.

From there she went into more detail about each of the pups and compared Simi in look to her momma "but a little more ugly." And yet somehow, someway, and or some reason, that "ugly" little puppy was the one I was drawn to the most... after deciding on her, the breeder pointed out she was the first girl who came to see me.

She is quite something! A little spit fire with no fear at all, and very vocal. For a week or so she went without a name (she's supposed to have an L name, but we're going to try and just have her L name be her registered name), and then for some reason, the little demon out of a series of novels I'd been reading for years named Simi popped into my mind, and it hit me that that was the PERFECT name for her. I haven't doubted it since.

So a long story short, I got a GSD puppy. She's adorable.

Crossing Thresholds - Comparison

2011-11-21T12:32:00.002-04:00

I've been working on Psyche's trial issues, and yesterday that involved taking her to the field with 3 other people, setting up a course and doing the course like it's a trial. We tug up to the entrance to the field, drop the toy, heel position in, sit stay, release, course, finish, jump into my arms then run out to her tug.

This is yesterday's example:

Now, most people would look at this and think wow, she's so stressed, but I feel the need to point out the good things, and in doing so I had a "holy crap, my dog really has come a long way" moment. In a trial, I wouldn't expect Psyche to a) hold her dog walk contact b) get on the table and lay down; she'd get up but wouldn't lay down c) do 6 weaves, let alone 12 d) hold her a-frame contact or e) come to me at the end, let alone look at me, anticipating the "get up" command.

Please note that she did all of those things in that video.

Food for thought, here. Here's a video from a trial around this time last year:

And that was a jumpers run, at a trial she got her first Q at.

So something has to be going right. My dog is still stressing, yes, but she's improving in leaps and bounds. I guess my thing now is that it's hard to realize that she's making such improvement when I don't look back, and of course, I don't remember those "bad" runs from before.

We're working on it, but honestly, this is a general path for me to head in with her. We'll keep working on it, and at least now I can stimulate the stress so I can work on it. I feel like crap for purposely stressing my dog out, but at the same time, I've been doing it at trials for more than a year now.

Crossing Thresholds Day 2

2011-11-10T12:03:00.004-04:00

Same little course, same training field, new criteria.

Today we went up and I had treats with me, and before we ran at all, she didn't have the chance to go into the ring and romp around with her toy, which she likes to do (usually she snatches it from me on the walk up and then runs up and waits for me with a "hah, I beat you!" look). We started it just like it was a trial. The first time in, she was stressed again and I could tell. I really should try and video the next session. She kept breaking her start lines, so we worked a lot on that. I decided I wanted: a 'heel' up to the spot where I put her in a sit stay (and for Psyche that's not a very formal heel, just beside me, offering eye contact, her bum usually swings out more then it should for obedience); a sit at the start line, no stands; a held start line stay to the second jump out, AT LEAST; and at the end, I wanted her to come to me when I said, "Psyche!" and then jump into my arms when I gave the cue, from there I'd set here down and release her to her toys.

After she warmed up to the idea that we were doing that whole thing that stressed her out again she gained a lot more confidence. And from there her biggest issue was the start line stay. They aren't fun to her, and so that's something I need to work on. She gets all serious-dog while waiting, and although all I really need is for her to stay, I don't want her thinking that she has to be all serious and gruff at the start line and having that mind set for the rest of the run. So we're going to start doing some start line stay stuff outside of the ring. Any suggestions?

We spent a lot of work on that, and at one point even just start line stayed to the third jump, then I went back, rewarded and released her to her toy and ran out after her. She seemed to like that, so maybe we'll have to throw some more of those in.

Then I threw a curve ball at her. When we went into the ring, I sat her and stood with her for a few minutes, like we often have to do while waiting for the scribe to be done, the jumps to be set, or the chute to be fixed. That has been a problem for Psyche and I for a long time. It's like she works up the courage to go in, and then while she's waiting decides it's too hard. So we worked some on that, and the first time I did that, she was back to stressed. When I start lined stayed her she broke it to go sniff. So we worked on that some more. And she started to get a lot more comfortable about it.

Now, I'm starting to feel a little crappy about purposely stressing my dog out, but I do it at trials too, without even meaning to, and I can't reward her how she needs to be rewarded there, so this is better, right?

So the plan is to do this one more day at home, and then I think we'll head to the club's training field. I'm eager to see if it's got the same effect there as it does here.

And just for reading all of that...

Crossing Thresholds.

2011-11-09T14:58:00.003-04:00

Threshold, by definition means, "any place or point of entering or beginning". So that could mean a gate way into a new training ring, two posts that mark the entrance to a trial field, a break in the snow fence, or even between two pylons, right?

After our last few trials, I'd been thinking that something about going into the ring was the hardest part for Psyche. She was happy and calm around the trial ring, would tug up to the trial ring, give me her all on the practice jumps outside the trial ring... and then we get into the ring, and something happens. All along people have told me that maybe it's something I'm doing that's freaking her out (and maybe it is) but even when I felt calm, cool and collected, Psyche was still very stressed. Even at a fun match, when I knew it was completely for fun only, she still stressed. Even when I had her toy. She only ever was comfortable at fun matches at our own training field through the club... which has a wooden gate, but it's a gate that she's been going through since she started agility, and that gate means we're going in where she'll get lots of time to play with her toy or a class full of yummy treats.

*insert lightbulb moment here*

Now, of couse, none of this actually came to me until after today's training session. I was looking through CR sequences and course maps, looking for something good to get a good training session out of. I didn't want to just dink around today with all my equipment where it's been the last two months. Sadly, because of my lack of tunnels and real weaves, I couldn't find anything, so I decided I'd work on making our training session as trial like as possible.

We went up to the field and I moved things around into a very simple 'course':
Now, it's not hard, but remember, that's not what I was going for. However, I looked at this little sequence, in my back yard, with my horses watching me, like it was Nationals and Psyche and I were up against crazy well known agility people. We started at the gate, where I tugged with her, then got her revved up, dropped her toy and gave a "let's go" command. We walked in and the first time you could see the stress in her body. Even though this was our backyard, she was stressed about it. So we walked up to the start line, did a horrible 'start line stay' and released and did the whole 'course' with many mistakes. But at the end there was a huge celebration and she got to run out of the ring and get her toy and we had a long play session.

Second time we do the same thing and I get a lot more confidence walking into the ring, but still not crazy comfortable. I manage to get a nice stand stay from her and she sails through the course with a couple issues with her weaves (now, this is an easy weave entry. And she knows it. But at a trial, even the most simple weave entry she'll miss if she's stressing, so I was expecting some messed up weaves.). But again, at the end, huge party, run out and get her tug, lots of play.

Third time, she pranced into the ring like she owned the place, start line stayed, and blew my mind. She was still a little iffy, you could tell, but getting more confident.

Now, there were some mistakes I made. I should have had treats on me, in my pocket, to reward a start line stay (and eagerly offering me a sit, because once she gets stressed she doesn't want to sit or down) and so that at the end I could call her back to me, reward, and then BOTH of us walk out and get her tug. This is something we'll work on next time for sure.

This little thing about thresholds is something I'm going to work on for a while. I think it'll help her a lot. But I'm going to do the treat thing, because I feel like the treats are a good way for me to get her understanding exactly what I want. Now it's a matter of maintaining my criteria. Maybe I need one of those "Note to self: Maintain Criteria" pendants from Mad Dog Metalworks?!

Over all, a really amazing session. Even though I could feel her stressing, it felt good to be working on it and actually see some of her trial issues at home, in training. I've always felt at a loss because those issues didn't show up in the places that I could actually work on fixing them, so now, if I can recreate the situation and work on teaching her how to handle it... this might lead to something.

It's a never ending journey, that's for sure.

I am thankful.

2011-10-11T13:18:00.004-03:00

Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving, and it was also the Labracollie twin's 3rd birthday... so insert long, sappy blog entry here.

Come on, you knew it was coming.

Crasher Trasher has been with me since April now. He came to me on easter day as a 'foster' dog, and of course, that didn't go as I'd planned for. I'd have been better off naming him Temporary. In the short time he's been with me, Crash has quickly grown from a crazy, spinning stressy mess to a real dog. On his three year birthday, he attended his first obedience class, and he rocked it, for lack of better words. I went into the class expecting Crash to bark, spin, chase flies and over all just not pay attention at all. I had low expectations, warned the instructor that he'd be a challenge, and warned the rest of my class that he's a loud boy who loves to hear himself bark. We went into class 30 minutes early. I wanted to be there before everyone else so that we could slowly adjust to more and more dogs. He barked once. Before class, and it was a "hey, Shay, play with me!" bark. We were being foolish and he looked at me and barked. No big deal, a quick, "shh" and he was done, standing watching me and wagging his tail. 6 dogs came in after that, most dogs with 2 handlers, plus the instructor and her helper, as well as the instructors dogs who were in runs into the room. He only flicked an ear when the last dog came in. I was so proud. And by the end of class he was just laying down at my feet, relaxing, while everyone else was working, because Crash was steps ahead of where I thought he'd be and had a good knowledge of everything we tried. He even had an obnoxious lab come into his face at one point and still, he only backed up because I was stepping into him, trying to keep him from the lab because I didn't trust that dog. I trusted him, but I didn't want my boy set back because of an out of control dog.

I'll be the first to admit I didn't think I was ready for Crash when I brought him home. In my mind he would be a foster dog because I just couldn't fathom another dog after losing Bella. I think I thought I would only have a GSD after because half of me though a GSD would relink me to Bella. I knew that was wrong the day I looked down at Crash and swore Bella was staring back at me. I knew then he was here to stay.

Now Psyche has been with me for much longer. Going on 3 years in March. (Does that math sound right?) And she has been a special part of my life since then. When I lost Bella she was the only thing that kept me going. I'd entered her in a trial the day after Bella's death and mom forced me to take her, even though I really didn't want to. I'm glad I did.

I think that first day of the trial was the day I realized that if I stick by her, she'll stick by me. Psyche is truly an amazing dog. Sometimes I think she understands every word I say to her, and somedays I think she knows me better then I know myself. She's loyal and devoted and the human race could learn a thing or two from her.

When I look back on the day I brought her home, in March 2009, I look back and see a timid, scared little puppy. Exactly what I wouldn't want if I were looking for a puppy now. And yet, somehow, Psyche, who's not exactly the dog I thought I wanted, is exactly the dog I needed. I guess that's what's most important, right? Things worked out so that Psyche and I found each other. Even though I'd been looking at litters of pups, dogs in the shelters, breeders hours away... everywhere but where I found her, somehow, someway I still found her... or she found me. I'm not really quite sure how that worked. But it worked. And thank god for that. Although a lot of people would call me crazy (yeah, I know right now all of you are nodding going, "yeah, she is pretty crazy."), Psyche keeps me as sane as I am. Being around her makes me feel better. I look forward to time with her like I do with my human family and friends. She's a very special dog.

My twins sure are something special. From Crash's insane eye contact to Psyche's neurotic teeth chattering, they're each a little different, and a little the same. Even if a year down the road I find out they're of no relation at all, these two are siblings. They love each other the way all families should. When I think of Crash and Psyche I think of play sessions where one gets a little too obnoxious but backs off when the other says stop, I think of them chasing the chuck it, one throwing him/herself into the air, missing, and the other doing the same, and missing again, I think of them swimming in the pond, Psyche waiting for Crash to drop whatever he has in his mouth before he does his swamp monster impersonation.

To end it all on a really simple note, I'm thankful for Psyche and Crash, now while celebrating their 3rd birthday, and everyday for everything they do for me, without even knowing they do it at all.

Happy birthday, Labracollies!

Harder than I thought it would be.

2011-10-04T08:18:00.002-03:00

Last night I returned to the trainer and training facility I spent so much time in with Bella. I'm starting Crash in an obedience course and went last night for the intro without the dogs there.

Walking up the drive way was strange. It's been probably two years at least since I was there, but I didn't think too much about the tightening in my chest walking up. Then I went inside and without even realizing my eyes were drawn to our spot. We had a spot in the room where Bella and I stayed, because there we could say far enough away from the other dogs to sometimes get a bit of work done. Then I looked around and realized the trainers dogs were out, and there was Maxi, a saluki Bella once hit with her teeth who screamed and screamed afterwards, and I was gone. Back into the basement of my trainer's house where we'd been working with Bella, me sitting away from her, trying to get her to be calm around Maxi. I wasn't there at the facility getting ready to start training Crash, I was back 3 years, to when I had Bella at her house for a summer of day long privates three times a week.

Brought back to the present I listened and absorbed as much as I could about the training program, even though I knew all of it already, but my eyes kept going to her spot. When I pictured myself in this room, I pictured myself with Bella at my side. I remembered the spot we were in the first day she went to class, when her issues first really showed their face. I remembered getting her fitted for her gentle leader... going over to a easy walk... working private sessions with my trainer and her dogs... and the day we worked on greeting new strangers and I walked away from her, and Bella was tied to the wall, crying, literally crying, and throwing herself at the wall, devastated I'd left her.

It was way harder then I thought it would be. Hard for me to smile when the trainer introduced me to the owner of a GSD puppy as the "girl with Shepherd experience -- she owned the GSD from hell." Hard to smile when her assistant looked at me and said, "I remember hearing about you, but never got the chance to meet Bella."

It was just hard.

But I'm excited to go back--to face those memories, embrace them, and make new ones with Crash. I know that he'll help me through each night there, and that when memories resurface he'll help me cope, and help me build new memories that will go side by side to my memories of Bella.

I think I'm probably a little scared too. Scared that Crash will have the same issues Bella did, even though he's shown NO signs at all. Scared that somehow, someway, I'll be that same girl, coming in with the 'bad dog' and leaving with bruises on my ribs, tears on my face.

But here's hoping Bella's there in spirit, giving Crash a quick tuning when he's getting just a bit out of hand, and keeping us straight on the path we're supposed to be on.

And as a side note, my trainer lost her 15 year old Golden Retriever last week, and I hope he and Bella have found each other, where ever they are, and maybe on Monday nights they'll somehow know their owners are working together again, after several years they weren't.

Herding is Healing.

2011-09-15T21:29:00.002-03:00

*Wish I could take credit for that clever play on words, but I heard it at the clinic last weekend.

This past weekend Tiny Zoey, Psyche and I all loaded up into the HHR with my sister and headed to Prince Edward Island. Where we were going on the Island was about 6 hours from our farm. It was a long trip that started at 2 am. After a 6 hour shift. It was brutal. But! It was so worth it. We arrived at the farm where the clinic was being held just on time, to a hole herd of Border Collies and one Aussie running around. It was pretty intimidating at first for everyone else to already be there, but everyone was very friendly after I worked up the courage to get out of the car.

The first session was with Psyche, and it was... not what I'd thought it would be. She just wasn't digging the sheep; that I called. However, Lorna had me move the sheep myself, make them follow me around, all sorts of things, including bringing her bitch into the ring and having her work the sheep to see if her interest would get Psyche interested. None of that worked, and just when I was starting to think that Back Up Plan Zoey would have to be put into play, Lorna told me, "push the Sheep." I thought she meant with my energy, like she'd had me doing earlier, but she meant physically and wasn't long to tell me. So I started literally pushing the sheep around, and just like *snap* that Psyche was going crazy with all sorts of instinct. Of course, she was barking her little head off too, and chasing a little more than actually herding, but she was actually interested and that was great in my book. We worked on just having her keep the sheep around me in both away to me and come by manners, and then when I needed her to stop, backing myself and the sheep into the fence where I'd wait for Psyche to calm down and then step out again and ask for the direction I wanted. It was amazing to see. My little mutt was herding sheep!

Little Zoey tried her hand at herding too, but was way more interested in the yummy treats they left behind and running around acting like a fool. I think she'd have been a lot more into it if we weren't in a new place. This is the same little dog who at an agility trial will visit.

Day two wasn't exactly what I expected either. I thought Psyche would pick up where we'd left off the day before, but she needed a little more work to interest her, but then she was really into it. She was, however, breaking sheep off from the herd, so we had to work on that, but still. We had a hard time, too, with her pushing sheep AWAY from me, because she was trying really hard to stay close to me, so would come behind me and push the sheep away. That was really hard for me to be flustered about, because since I started agility, that has been what I was looking for. I WANTED her to want to stay with me. So I told Lorna and she was asking about her confidence issues, and she said, "Well, like *insert local agility lady I know here* says, 'Herding is healing'!"

Zoey didn't get a chance on Sunday, but I don't think her feelings were really hurt. ;)

We spent Saturday night with a family friend, her 2 cats, and her Papillion, Clarence. Mr. C wasn't so sure of Psyche and Zoey at first, but he was really eager to see them the next morning. Psyche slept on my bed, even at a place that isn't home, because after almost a year of Bella being gone, I just can't sleep without Psyche. The dogs were really well behaved--well, as well as they can be, what with them being their badselfs.

Sunday after the clinic we went to the beach, and both dogs swam! Crazyness! Little Tiny Zoey went out into sea and swam for a bit. She didn't really hate it either... didn't love it though. And Psyche and I waded out into sea where she swam circles around me, literally. Her first real trip to the beach, and she loved it.

Overall, I think the weekend was a really good opportunity for Psyche and I. I think through herding she increased her confidence, and I think we got the time together we needed after all of my crazy hours this summer and having just started college.

And we're going to another one in October... Crash will be tagging along! We've also got a trial this weekend, local, that Psyche, Crash and I will be heading to. Crash, of course, won't be competing. And next weekend? A day trip to Bar Harbor, Maine, to meet our internet-friend Abby! That'll be the Twins, Amanda and I.

I haven't dropped off the face of the world...

2011-09-12T08:12:00.000-03:00

But I have been busy!

You can, however, look forward to some stories about some sheep, my dog, and me, and also some really pretty PEI beach pictures. But for now, I'm off to make the "college" part of poor college student true.

My dog is a delight.

2011-09-06T13:56:00.002-03:00

She is a delight to live with, train with, and just kill time with.

Seriously.

Today we went out to work on toy-less drive (we've back stepped to just hiding her toy, not dropping it) and she was amazing. She was giving me so much enthusiasm, and it was awesome. I think I'll just rename her delightful.

Also, we worked on decell, and she was rocking that too. Man, seriously, be jealous.

"Our dogs read us, sometimes we just don't write the right story. "

2011-08-30T10:41:00.003-03:00

Psyche and I have been going on Thursdays with Mom and Tinky to private lessons with Erin. And even though we've only done 2 session so far, each one has come with huge learning possibilities, and chances to think through struggles we're facing.

Erin has been an amazing instructor. And I'll admit, I was kind of timid at first, worried there'd be too much of a "laid back" atmosphere, because we're friends, and I'd worried that we'd be spending the money for a private and getting an hour of training, but not... I don't know it's hard to explain. Either way, it was a waste of worry, because of course Erin handled everything very professionally.

Our first session was good, but I can say there were moments when I really was thinking to myself, "Why DON'T you know this? Really?" Simple things that most others know just starting out I'd forgotten or never really learned, and that was irritating to me. However, Erin did a great job of explaining them to me, and Psyche was very understanding while I tried and failed several times, until I tried and succeeded.

Our first lesson took place while the skies were opening up and just letting it fall. We've never trained in such rain, and I doubt we've ever really trialed in such rain -- maybe once. That said, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Within the first few minutes out there, my coat was soaked through and I was drenched, and I'd fallen once before even bringing Psyche out, but it was a great session. That second session was filled with several moments where I was proud and thought, "wow, Psyche's really working well for me, and I'm really working well for her." Even in the rain my dog was happy and willing to play with me, and that makes me feel good. There were places in handling where I knew what I needed to do, that last week, I probably wouldn't have known. I didn't always execute them correctly, but at least now I can pick them out.

During our second session, we talked a bit of how the dogs read us, and Erin said at one point something along the lines of, "Our dogs read us, it's crazy, but they really do." And Mom, without even stopping trying to master the footwork of the handling she was working, said, "Our dogs read us, sometimes we just don't write the right story." And of course my mom is right (she almost always is, much to my disdain), our dogs do read us, but it's up to us to write the right story. So even if I felt like Psyche didn't really NEED lessons, I'm glad we've taken them, because these sessions are like a much more fun english class I'd take in school.

So thanks to Erin, for sharing her knowledge with us in the form of lessons and frequently asked questions, and thanks to Mom for coming with me, since I just don't think I could handle an hour all on my own, and thanks to Psyche for bearing with me when my feet don't point in the right direction, but my arms do; I'm glad she's learned how to read slower so I can make adjustments before she gets to each part.

Pictures are worth a thousand words.

2011-08-28T22:35:00.000-03:00

What's happening.

2011-08-22T21:54:00.002-03:00

So I know I haven't said much of anything lately, but that said, here's what's going on.

I've got a "training log" that I'm using with Psyche. I pick one thing a day I NEED to get done with my dog. Yesterday was "toyless" drive, today was nail clipper issue work, tomorrow's 20 mins of chuck it time. It's all pretty simple. It's not like "Teach your dog to stand up, fall to the ground and play dead." It's just simple little things. But lately I've been getting so caught up in life and all the non-important stuff that I'm forgetting about the important thing -- my dogs.

Now I feel compelled to use a notebook to keep track of what I want to get done for each day. I shouldn't have to, but I do. So I am.

That's all.

Agility Blessing

2011-08-18T21:37:00.003-03:00

May the tunnels not have too much suction,
May the course be fun and fast.
May your dog not stop to say "hello"
to the photographers they pass!

May the table not be too slippery,
May the chute house no scary beasts,
May all the yellow parts be touched
with one little toe, at least.

May the wind be always at your back,
May no bars fall on the ground.
May the A-frame have no stop sign on the top,
May the judge's whistle never sound.

May your dog obey all correct commands
And ignore the ones that are wrong.
May your heart be light, your feet be sure
and the bond with your dog grow strong.

At the finish line, may great joy abound,
regardless of your score,
You have your dog, your dog has you,
and who could ask for more?

Written by: PJ Hughes

Our first private lesson...

2011-08-18T21:30:00.002-03:00

was a huge success! And we owe a huge thanks to Erin for giving us the chance to do privates and for being such a great instructor.

Above all else, I've learned that I know nothing of threadles and serpentines, but of course, I knew this. But! That said, I feel like we made a lot of progress. Of course, Psyche and I weren't spot on 100% of the time, but what fun would lessons be if we were?

I left feeling very encouraged and like I knew what I needed to work on, and that will be good I think. I feel like Psyche and I need more planned training sessions, so I'm thinking of starting a training plan for Psyche. Well, less of a "training" plan, and just a "plan" in general. What day's we'll just play chuck it, what days we'll work on obedience, what days we'll work on agility, etc., you get the point. I think it would be good for both of us to know what we were going out to do when we went out to do it. And to make myself follow through with this, I think I'll get a neat little notebook or day planner to do so in.

Anyway, not really much to say as of right now. Though I do have another copy and paste post coming right up (like, in a couple of minutes).

I think she stole a piece of my heart...

2011-08-17T12:43:00.003-03:00

Ira went home yesterday.

I knew I'd be sad to see her go, but I didn't think I'd be as sad as I was. I got up early to scrub her crate, get her dog food all packed up, let her out to pee, etc. And by then, I was feeling sick to my stomach and like I needed a good cry. So I laid down for a few minutes before I needed to leave to bring her home.

I took her outside to get into the car and she resisted. She never dogs that. She always meets everything with a "Oh HAI! I'm not scared!" attitude, but yesterday, she didn't want to get into my car. The tears started that moment. And they went on and on the whole 45 minute drive there. Ira would sit in her crate, looking at me, thump her tail, and lay down. She kept checking on me.

We got there, and I cried some more. Told her momma how good she'd been, and then she went to take her out of her crate, and Ira wouldn't come out...This is the dog who's usually barreling out of her crate to come play bitey on your limbs. She had to be physically taken out of the crate, and then her momma sat her on the ground and was speaking to her, and she kept coming back over to me. Even though I wasn't saying anything to her. And when she took her in and put her in a bigger crate she cried and screamed until I was gone and couldn't hear if she still was.

I sobbed the entire way home.

I'm still sad thinking about it. I don't know what it is about that Satan spawn, who most of the time irritated me, that makes me miss her so much, but man oh man, I sure do miss her.

Individuals make the world go 'round.

2011-08-12T14:36:00.002-03:00

Let's let this be known, because I feel the need to say it.

My dogs are their own dog-sons. They're each individuals, they're all a little different. There are no other, and never will be any other, dogs who are exactly like them. Close maybe, in looks, training issues, breeds, any of that, but they are not Psyche, Zoey, or Crash.

So when I say, "She was so fast!" I'm not comparing her to the dog who runs the same course 10 seconds faster. I'm comparing her to her previous training attempts, trials, or sequences. Agility has always, and will always, be about bettering ourselves as teams. When I run a course I don't do it with the intention of getting a faster, better run then Sally and her dog Fido who just ran it. I do it with the intention of seeking improvement in the teamwork between me and the dog I'm running.

Like teachers comparing me to someone else in my class, it's not far for me to compare my dogs to someone elses. My dogs will always be individuals, and that's why I love them. How fun would it be if we all owned the fastest, most accurate agility dog?

I love my dogs, even with all of their good and bad traits, because above any dog sport, my dogs are my best friends.

I own the definition of "amazing".

2011-08-11T22:13:00.002-03:00

Seriously.

Psyche is amazing. No doubt about 'er. She's my girlie, and such a good girlie.

I just took her out for this amazing session, working on getting some more enthusiasm and drive for sequencing without her toy in my hand. I honestly had no thought in my head that I'd get what I got out of her. She was so amazing tonight.

Well, really, only video can show you what I mean. She was just so good.

Ah, man. :)

Rain, rain, go away.

2011-08-10T16:53:00.002-03:00

Today's my day off. My plan all week has been to do agility with my day off. I wanted to do some quick sequencing, and some circle work with a jump thrown in here and there.

But today, my one day off until Saturday and Sunday (both of which may be spent 4 hours away, dogless), is a rainy day. Of course.

All day I whined about the rain, and then just now decided, you know what? A little rain never hurt me before. So I donned my mismatched rubber boots, my purple PJ pants, and I headed 'er out to the field, with my double page protector-ed Clean Run under arm.

We mostly worked on just fun stuffs at first. A few sequences. But then after I decided I wanted to work on getting her to run without her toy. So we worked on me dropping the toy, her NOT rushing to it right away, leaving it, and going and doing one jump first. Then 2, then 3, etc. I think the most we got to was 5, but of those 5 a couple took her running right past the toy.

As of right now, she's not as fast without her toy, which is okay. I can deal with that. So the next time we go out, what I'll do is focus on less jumps/obstacles, more drive. So when she does ONE jump, with a lot of drive, I'll let her go to the toy. Ideally, in a week or so, this would lead to leaving the toy at the start of a sequence, driving through, and coming back to our toy. Like we'd do at a trial.

It was interesting for me to see just how different she is without the toy. She slows down a lot, and just looks like she's enjoying it less. Too dependent on the toy, maybe? Not sure. Anyway, we're going to work on it. Any ideas, suggestions, thoughts, are appreciated.

Bella sent me a sign.

2011-08-10T13:30:00.002-03:00

It's been a while since I looked at something and thought, "That was Bella's doing." The last thing was a split second look in Crash's eye, when he first came here. I knew right there and then that Bella had brought him to me, somehow, and for a second, I felt like she was looking out at me through Crash's eyes.

Then the night before last she sent me another. I was driving home from work, after a 3-11 shift, and I was driving the back woods. It's common there not only to see moose, but to hit them. I was anxious the whole drive home, until about 20 mins from home, I saw a shooting star. Now, remember that I'm practically holding my eye lids open, trying to see as much as I can at one time, and somehow, for some reason, at the split second that I glanced upwards, I saw a shooting star.

I rarely see shooting stars, but after this one, all the tension left my body, and all I could think to do was look up and say, "Thank you, Bella. I got your message."

That said, the rest of the drive home I didn't see a single critter.

Training session success paired with handling woes.

2011-08-08T11:51:00.002-03:00

I took Psyche out to the field today, and we've been working on a Clean Run Backyard Dog Course, that's just 6 jumps, and today the sequence we were working on involved a serpentine. I think. See, this is where my problems come in. I can never remember the difference between a serp and a threadle, and therefore, can never remember how to handle either of them -- if I ever even knew that is.

This is all very frustrating to me. Psyche and I can attack masters courses with few to no mistakes (in training) but not if they've got a serp or a threadle in them. Then we're screwed because I can not handle them. And I don't mean they like, make me freak out, all nervous, mental break down. I mean that they are something I just can't handle in terms of handling techniques. It's annoying. It's something we really need to work on. Oh Errrriiinn, darlin', looks like we'll need to set up a few privates, me and you.

Besides all of that, though, Psyche was AMAZING. We did the sequence we worked on last time once more, too, and she rocked it, first try, no hesitations. Go Psycher doo! Mom looked at me after and was like, "How many times have you practiced that?" and I said, with a huge smile on my face, "None since the last time we were both out!" I love when things come together like that. I'm seeing it a lot more frequently now that we've got a place to train at home.

On the note of my training field. Well, sadly, it hasn't been getting proper use lately. With work, and the weather, things just haven't been working to my advantage to get the girls out and working. As it was, today I had to do it before a 3-11pm shift, and in this gross muggy wet weather. My poor shoes were soaked. Oh well, it was worth it!

Ira left this morning.

2011-08-04T09:43:00.001-03:00

Only to go get her shots, but still. I was sad when I came downstairs and her crate was gone. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when she's gone back to her momma's for good. Oh no.

Why I need a German Shepherd Puppy

2011-08-03T19:20:00.002-03:00

Because this one has confirmed that I love GSDs, even the ones who aren't Bella or Callie:

Because Psyche loves little puppies, especially GSDs:

And because it's just so cute to see a GSD and a BC bum trotting along together:

Work, work, and that other thing...

2011-08-01T12:10:00.003-03:00

Oh yeah, that other thing--work.

So last week was my first "full" week, I guess. They only gave me 3 shifts, so it wasn't even a full week. This week I have 5 shifts. 39 hours. I'm finding it really hard on my ankle, and I'm also finding a lack of time for the dogs, but I think that once I get used to actually DOING something, I'll be okay to come home and do agility afterwards. And I have my days off, although I didn't do any agility yesterday.

That said, this job is going to pay for the rest of my agility equipment (contact plans have been make -- a-frame frame should be made this weekend, I'm hoping), so that makes it a little better. I just keep waiting for that first full pay. And the things I'll be able to buy! (Haha, right. It'll likely all go towards my car!)

Speaking of cars. I'm really in a pickle. I went to a used car dealer last week and saw a Ford Escape (2005) for sale, and the price is really good on it, but I don't have that money. We went and looked at a Saturn station wagon after, and it's less money, and less KMs, but not as big. I travel the back woods to work, and moose are common around there, and it's a lot of twists and turns and so we'd all feel better if I had a bigger car. That said, I gotta go to the bank and see if they'll lend me the money. I have stuff I could sell to get money (like a horse that Mom's been after me to sell) but I don't really want to sell her, and what I'd get out of her wouldn't pay for the Ford Escape, and if I have to sell my horse, I'm getting the dang Escape. Loan sharks here I come. Oh well.

Anyway. That's all that's new, I guess... Puppy Ira is still here, and as bad as ever. 2 more weeks. Then we've got two more guests coming.

Puppies change everything.

2011-07-27T14:38:00.002-03:00

Or at least that's what it feels like right now.

I've got a young pup here for three weeks while her momma's away on vacation. Ira is a real handful, but then again, it's been 6 years since I had a dog this young here for me to take care of. And I'll tell you, you just don't realize how un-puppy proof your house is until you've got a puppy finding all the weak spots in your puppy proof shield.

Luckily, I have Psyche here helping me. The first morning she wasn't really all that fond of Ira, but Psyche had had a long weekend, and now that she's not as tried they're best buds. Or at least, if that's what you call a puppy tugging on Psyche's tail.

She's always on the go. I'm beginning to wonder if she ever even sleeps. But man when she's not raising hell, she's somethin' cute.

Anyway, there's not really much else to say about that, but if things slow down a bit, this face is the reason.

I've been in a constant state of puppy chasing or cleaning up. It's been pretty busy... so yeah, this puppy is changing everything, at least for a little while. And we're only 2 days into the 3 weeks.

Not bad for a blind dog.

2011-07-26T11:08:00.002-03:00

On Saturday I not only attended a fun match with Psyche, but while there I met a huge inspiration.

At this fun match there was a dog named Lucy. Before her run I didn't pay much attention to her, but I remember vaguely hearing her name called for her run, and just so happened to be ring side when she ran. The man handling her had a head halter on her, and a tab leash. Between each obstacle he was grabbing the tab and going along to the next obstacle. I noticed he spoke to her a lot, clicked just before the jump, and tapped the top of the tunnel. I sat there thinking, "Oh, just a new dog, or a dog that is reactive." and put the clicking to poor timing and the tunnel tapping to a dog not understanding tunnels.

It wasn't until he finished his run, which involved two sets of 12 weaves and an a-frame, that I heard him come off the field and say, "Not bad for a blind dog!"

I get tears in my eyes even now, just thinking about it. Lucy's owner, on cloud nine from the pure adrenaline of being able to do agility with Lucy, came over to us while a friend was telling us about what he does to signal each obstacle, and I, with goosebumps and chills, met Lucy for the first time. She happily greeted me, once she realized I was there, and when I stopped, went back towards her owner and the only word to describe how they interacted was pure love. It was clear that Lucy knew that that was her owner, without hesitation, and saved a special kind of love for him.

I talked the rest of the day to Lucy's owner, about how their life is, how they can leave an old blind Lucy dog on the couch, go into the kitchen to get some cheese and before you know it she's standing behind them, waiting for her treat.

They adopted Lucy when she was 2 years old, and they knew then that she was blind. The vets told them that she'd been blind for a very long time, likely from birth, but that didn't stop them. Something about Lucy called to them, and so they took on the task of Lucy and her lifestyle, which can't have been easy to start. Lucy's 6 now, and they've been doing agility with her all along. She does all of the obstacles, and enjoys every second of it.

Meeting Lucy made me stop and think. Psyche and I battle trial issues, sure, and we have our shares of ups and downs, but neither of us battles such a thing as being blind. And it makes you stop and think, why is it that I can get upset about some issues Psyche and I are having when things could be so much worse? Lucy acted as reminder for me this weekend, that the most important thing is love. Lucy does agility because she loves her handler. At first I thought, "I can't imagine that kind of love." but really, Psyche and I have that love. It's just sometimes I'm blind to it, when really, the only thing I need to see at all is that love. Psyche and I could be blind to everything else in the world and be okay, as long as we could still see our love.

Lucy's story will be something I think of daily. When Psyche and I stand at a start line, Lucy will be in my thoughts, acting as an inspiration to remind Psyche and I that we can get through anything, as long as we have love.

Thank you, Lucy.

Sunday is Fun Day!

2011-07-25T11:11:00.002-03:00

Another little fun match for Psyche on Sunday. Only three runs. This was at our clubs training field, so to be 100% honest, I was expecting her to kick some butt. The first run was really bad, honestly. She was being weird before going in, and then pooped once we were in there, then just shut down after pooping, even though I said nothing about it, just cleaned it up. No biggie. But she was having none of that after.

After that I took her out to play some, and she wasn't interested at all. I started to get annoyed, so I went and put her in her crate and took a breather. Mom took her out to play with her, and she played, no problem, and so of course I was sad that my dog won't work with me, but will play with mom. But I got over it, and went out, with a fresh start, to play with her, and she was much more interested in that.

We had two more runs after that, a masters standards, and a Time2Beat, and she did much better those two runs. I was really proud of the Time2Beat run, actually! For a tricky little course, and doing the first 5 obstacles with our trainer under the a-frame adjusting the height before we got there (which I didn't notice, and no one thought to tell me!) she did really well. I was very pleased.

Some circle work took place after that, which we're planning on doing a lot more of, and she did great, and then we left to go to some pet food stores to look at new dry foods, and I took Psyche in with me and realized that I really need to get her out and about to new places. How can I blame her for stressing when I haven't properly exposed her? A soft dog like Psyche needs to have lots of good experiences before she can be comfortable. So I've decided that with my days off after my first pay (so I can afford gas!) I'm going to not only take her to new places for agility work, but for a chance to do some obedience work in new places too, like pet stores, etc.. Crash will also be tagging along for these adventures, but they'll be worked one at a time.

Sunday evening we picked up Ira, the little GSD puppy who's staying with us for three weeks, but that's a whole other blog post.

Stay tuned!

Wonderful Weekend o' Fun Updates!

2011-07-25T09:54:00.003-03:00

The weekend didn't quite go as I'd hoped it would, sadly. At least not for Psyche and I.

We arrived at the Motel Friday night and she of course took everything with stride. She'd been there before, so quickly made herself comfortable. But Saturday morning when we arrived at the fun match it was much different. It was at a place where they have a boarding kennel, so it was all very loud, which is hard for a Psyche dog. We took her out to the warm up ring, and that was a huge mistake. Dogs who were being kept at the kennel were in runs that led outdoors to where they could bark at Psyche, which immediately freaked her freak, and all she'd do was cower behind me, so we decided we wouldn't enter the warm up ring at all again that day. Who needs the warm up ring at a fun match anyway?

So her first run was Steeplechase, and it wasn't bad but it also really wasn't what I was expecting. I expected Psyche to be a lot more comfortable and confidant in a new place with her toy and I there as comfort, but she worked for me much the same way she would have at a trial. "Okay, I'll do it, I guess." Just not very into it at all.

So our second run was Advanced Jumpers, so between the two runs I played with her outside along the ring side, and she was fine, really playing with her tug and having a grand time. Bring her into the ring for her run, there she goes again, just like at a trial, shut down and just not interested.

Her next run I didn't even walk the course before. I just said, I'm going to go in, run around like a fool, throw her toy, have some fun, and then if she's into it, throw in a tunnel. No big deal. That worked much better. And honestly, I'm thinking I should have done that all of her runs, but hey, hind sight's 20-20.

We only did one more run after that, which was her advanced tunnelers, and honestly, she was so hot and tired that I just ended on a good note and we left early. We only missed the masters tunnelers, and with the way she was going, she wasn't going to to have much oopmh for her last run anyway.

I left the fun match with a better idea of what she needs, though. I think she needs to be more confident with agility in new places before I add the stress of the trial setting. So we'll do parks and other places working on what little equipment we can take with us, and then we'll look for another fun match, or one run at a trial. I want her to be able to if she's stressed at a trial think "Oh, agility, I'm good at this, and it's fun!" and instead of stressing in the ring, take comfort in agility itself.

If someday down the road I really think that Psyche's not enjoying it, and nothing's working, I'll have to ask myself, "Is this really fun for her?" and consider not trialing her anymore. But as of right now, we're not giving up because I'm taking a better approach that I know isn't going to hurt my dog, so we'll see where we are in the next few months. She's supposed to "re-debut" at our club's September trial, but we'll play it by ear.

Stay tuned for a post about the amazing dog and handler combo we met at the fun match on Saturday, a brief update on Sunday's fun match, and a little about the pitter patter of puppy paws on my floors right now.

A break.

2011-07-22T11:58:00.002-03:00

As horrible as this may sound, man, I am so excited to leave tonight and just have a little "vacation" with Psyche (and Mom and Tinky, of course). It used to kind of be that Psyche stayed near me all day, everyday, and she just loved being around me. Now that Crash is here, I always have at least two dogs hanging around me--Psyche and Crash.

This weekend, for lack of space, we are only bringing one dog each. And I am pretty excited for that. I love my dogs, all of them, don't get me wrong, but Psyche's just so easy that weekends or days away with only her are nice.

I'm anxious to see how Crash handles this, though. This will be the first time since coming that he's spent the night without Psyche and I both here. I've gone out for nights since getting him, but never have I taken Psyche with me, so we'll see how that goes.

"Bella

2011-07-21T22:07:00.002-03:00

She will forever be in the hearts of all who knew her... and didn't.

She was a source of love, strength, devotion, and friendship. She never let the world get her down... even when they tried.

She never won a title, she never even went in a ring.

That didn't make her any less of a dog though. She proved it doesn't take winning, or even being there that counts...It's loving every day for what it is.

Gone but Forever in our hearts."

Having a sappy night tonight. My great friend Abby wrote this about Bella on her memorial video, and it means so much.

Oh, oh, oh. THE JOY!

2011-07-21T20:59:00.002-03:00

The jumps are complete. 6 of 10 are already up where our agility field is going to be. We worked on a sequence with lots of 180s, which is good for Psyche, since sometimes we forget that "easy" stuff. She did really well. Man oh man, she's fast when she wants to be!

All I can say is that I can really see how all of the dogs will really progress with equipment at home, even if it is just jumps, a tunnel or two, weave poles and a teeter for now. A lot can be done with all of that stuff.

Also, getting very excited for this weekend!

Never have I loved a huge pile of PVC more.

2011-07-21T17:46:00.002-03:00

Seriously.

Hi Real World, Goodbye Entire Days Spent with my Dogs.

2011-07-20T20:03:00.002-03:00

*le sigh*

I started working on Tuesday. Only 6 hour shifts yesterday and today, but tomorrow will be my first 8 hour shift. Need to be at the restaurant at a little before 6, which means I need to leave my house at 5. Which means I need to get up no later than 4:30... and yes, I'm talking AM.

Of course, working at a restaurant means no dogs, other than service dogs, allowed. So I'm kept away from my dogs all day, and frankly it sucks, but I think I've grown a bit spoiled from mid-June to now because I got used to being able to stay home all day with them, or when I leave, taking them with me and doing dog related stuff with my time.

I know I need to work, though. I'm not stupid. 3 dogs have vet bills. 3 dogs eat a lot. 3 dogs destroy a lot of toys (okay, Crash dogs destroy a lot of toys!) and going up to 4 dogs will be costly too.

Hi Real World, I'm not so glad to meet you.

So excited!

2011-07-19T19:14:00.002-03:00

So Sunday I bought enough PVC for at least 10 jumps, probably more like 12. And we'd ordered the fittings for the pipe late last week. Today dad went to pick them up at our US post box, and the 4 way connectors weren't there, but our snap on Ts, which we're using for jump cups were there, and so dad and I just took them to be cut at a friends, and I brought them home and put them on an old jump standard out of PVC we had and worked Psyche a bit. Even with ONE jump at her height, I could already tell this is just a preview of how much we'll benefit from having equipment at home to work with!

Just wanted to share my excitement!

A weekend full of fun!

2011-07-18T17:05:00.002-03:00

Psyche and I are taking a 5 hour drive with Mom and Tinky to go to a fun match this weekend. We're kind of crazy. We're leaving Friday night, the fun match is Saturday, then coming home that same day, and we're going to another fun match the next day! Maybe, if Psyche and I aren't too tried...

And then the real fun begins! Sunday night we're picking up a little visitor who will be staying with us for three weeks. A tiny little GSD puppy named Ira is coming to experience the Misfit life style, meet new dogs, and get used to new things. We're pretty excited for that.

Anyway, that's all... how 'bout you kill some time by watching my video!?

If I ever questioned how related they actually were before..

2011-07-16T18:10:00.002-03:00

So yeah... they're for sure related.

Trial Issues

2011-07-16T13:08:00.003-03:00

I guess I've never really gone into detail about Psyche's trial issues. Her trial issues are mostly just a lack of fun. She just doesn't enjoy trials the same way she does training. That said, I'm not about to give up on trialing with her, not just yet. A trial with Psyche could end with a Q, or it could end in runs where she literally did one obstacle then left the ring and refused to come back to me when I called her. Of course, we haven't had a trial like that in a few months, but they did happen.

We've decided to take a break from trialing, and that's been going on since April. Since then we've really been doing very little, which explains both of our out of shape issues. However, we're also looking for fun matches. For a long time, I thought that fun matches were the only thing I could do to help her issues. Of course, I was wrong. We're now working on just increasing her confidence in agility in new places. To do this, I've taken Psyche to my friend Erin's place to work there, we've gone over to another friend, Brenda's, and have a plan for next week to go over to Rachel and Heathers. We're also getting some PVC to make jumps this weekend, so after that we'll be taking some jumps, weaves, and a tunnel out to parks, school yards (gotta love summer!), and any place we see, really.

We've done one fun match this year so far (they just aren't common around here) and even with that one fun match I saw a huge difference in Psyche. She was a bit stressed out her first run or two, but by the end of the day, she was rushing to the start line, excited to go, and eager to work with me. We've got another fun match planned on the 23rd, and if I can get the day off, one on the 24th.

We're planning our re-debut to be at our club's trial this September, so until then we'll just be working on increasing confidence and getting back into shape!

I don't want clean runs, titles, or praise for how great my dog is.

2011-07-09T20:14:00.002-03:00

I want to at the end of the ring celebrate the run by Psyche coming back to me and bouncing around happily with me, to see my dog come to me for praise after she knows she's done well. For her to really enjoy agility and at the end go "Hey, mom, look what I did!"

Others have it and I can watch a flawless, beautiful, clean run, and the end, when the dog comes running back to the owner, happy, bouncing, wiggling, I get chills.

I know someday Psyche and I will have that. Every day we get closer to that same finish line.

And for what it's worth, here's a jump work video of Psycher doo. :)

I'm reminded again

2011-07-09T17:18:00.001-03:00

Of how awesome Psyche is.

My girl has gotten me through so much in the past, and I know she'll get me through many more issues in the future. And even now, while I'm battling a weight gain, I know she'll happily walk away the pounds with me, without a sound of protest.

She's my girl. She accepted Crash into our lives not long after losing Bella, and now sees him like the brother he is to her -- in every sense of the word. They play, they argue, but at the end of the day, they love each other.

Confidence is Key!

2011-07-06T12:19:00.003-03:00

Since Crash came into our family, I have seen small differences and big ones. We have less toys in our house. We have more stuffing spread throughout the house. There are random strips of fabric, ruined socks, and busted balls everywhere. I've also noticed lots of Crash related laughing sessions and giggles, and some pretty adorable pictures. (See? It's not all bad stuff!)

But one thing that means so much to me that I've noticed is a huge amount of increased confidence in Psyche. She's always been a little bit of a scaredy dog. If a pop can was opened, and you were even looking at her, she'd cower and run away. Simple things in life would cause her to go from "Oh yeah, I'm the best thing since sliced bread" to "Oh my god, the world wants to EAT me!" I mean, it didn't really effect how we were living, but going out into a city and having her be comfortable? Yeah right. Tugging in a new place? If you're lucky, you'll get a light pull, but if you countered at all, she'd let go and shut down. She was a scaredy dog; I knew this. It was okay with me, because I learned how to handle it.

Then last week, on the 29th, I spent the day with Erin and her boy Mach, and honestly, I noticed some big differences. We went into a pet store before going to Erin's, and she was a little bit sniffy and stuff, but over all, a lot more comfortable there than she has been. Instead of stress sniffing, she was being a snoop. We went to the agility field after that and worked some. She was zoomin' and working so well for me, besides how hot it was, and she was tugging really hard. I was a little shocked, but just put it off to her being comfortable.

We went and picked Erin and Mach up after that, and went to the lake for a swim, because it was really hot. Psyche at first was pulling me, of course, like she always does, and then we got into the water and she started to go towards the kids (just wanting to play) but I grabbed her and we went looking for somewhere not so close to such a huge temptation for Psych. So down the lake we went, playing in the water, having a grand ol' time, and then we hear the kids coming, and they promptly get in the water, a little ways over. I managed to call her off of the kids every time she started going over to them, and I was quite proud of that. She really LOVES kids. It's so hard for her not to go see them, but she did. A few dogs walked past, too, and she didn't do her usual kind of "lock up" where she's just like "I don't know what to do -- do I go see them? do I stay here?" Instead she didn't pay any attention to them, really.

And then we went to Erin's and hung out, but then did some agility. Psyche was doing great. Really working for me... but the thing that finally made me realize just how GREAT she was being, was how HARD she was tugging. Like, seriously. She meant it, and it was so great. I don't need her to tug, but I like for her to like her toys, and since her toy is a hole-ee roller with a rubber chicken ball stuffed inside, and a fleece tug braided onto it, it's good for tugging. But I was just so pleased with how she was tugging. She's usually not that confident in new places enough to tug like that.

So we started to get my mom and sister and head home from our day out, and while I was waiting, I decided to take her out and work her some. We were in a city parking garage while we waited and it was really empty, so there was plenty of space. We did some obedience and stuff, then when cars started to leave from the other levels, we decided we'd tug some, with the distraction of cars. She never once let go of that tug unless I asked her to. Good girl! And so then I was curious to see if she'd get up on the barrier/wall thing, and of course, she did, so we started to walk along it, and BAM, out of the rafters comes two pigeons. Scared the CRAP out of me, but did Psyche even flinch? Not at all.

I honestly blame all of this confidence on Crash. He's encouraged her a lot in the tugging thing, mostly, because if she doesn't hold on, Crash gets it, and that's no fun. As for the rest of it? Well, maybe it's just luck, and maybe it's got a lot to do with having to be the grown up twin, because the other one's a nut case.

Well, that's good...

2011-06-20T17:16:00.003-03:00

I still stink at blogging, so good thing nothing's changed, I guess.

Anyway, so I've updated the blog again, with yet another hope of keeping the blog updated. For now, here's what's new.

I'm graduating High School on Thursday.

Tomorrow night is my prom, where I plan on taking Psyche as my date, wearing a cute bow tie to match my dress. Thursday's the graduation ceremony, and I get to do the salutatory speech, which I'm really stoked about. And then it's freedom, I guess. I'm really kind of nervous about being out in the "real world".

Psyche and Zoey are as quirky as ever, and enjoying life with a new brother. On April 23rd I met Psyche's full brother after being contacted by his momma, who couldn't keep him anymore. He met Psyche and they hit it off okay, and then on the 24th I brought him home as a "foster"... yeah, right. It was worth a try, at least.

He's here to stay now and even though Crash was a handful at first, I love the boy. And like my mom said, "we need at least one Problem Child." Since losing Bella he's been the biggest "challenge" I've been faced with, and honestly, it's been nice, in a crazy way.

Good news!

2011-01-26T11:36:00.003-04:00

I just got a new Camera this past weekend, which of course means more pictures. Which, of course, everyone loves when the pictures are of dogs as beautiful as mine.

This is probably by far my favorite picture I've taken with it yet,
Impressive, huh?

Anyway, that's all.

Monday was 4 months...

2011-01-19T21:28:00.002-04:00

since losing Bella, and I promise I'm not turning this into a sad, make you cry, post. However, if you want to know how I grieved Bella on the 4 month marker, go look at her page.

No, this is more about Psyche.

And about how when I lost Bella, I said "I'm not sure if I want to do the dog thing anymore if I don't have Bella."

Thinking back on that, I can't even imagine how I could have ever thought that. How would I have ever given up the amazing dogs I still have because I lost one? I miss her, I really do, but so do they, and they're not giving up. So neither did I, and I have no intention on it.

Just a random little post, I guess... be sure to check out Bella's page, and my recently updated Project 365 page.

It's BAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRNNNN day!

2011-01-16T20:04:00.003-04:00

Another morning spent at the agility barn. Psyche was 100% amazing, besides literally running into the jump standard twice. I had thrown her toy and she went into it. Same jump, too. *shakes head* No one ever said she was smart, just easy to train and speedy!

She was so great today! I was very impressed with her. She's turning out to be an amazing dog. An agility friend of ours even ran her today, and she went with her, no issues. Little Dog's gonna be a Jr. Handler dog someday!

Zoey was pretty impressive today, too. We worked some on "go see!" where I let her go visit with people, but when I say her name, she comes back.

Anyway, after we got home from agility today, I let Psyche play with her new favorite thing... the HUGE tennis ball I bought for her!

So that's more or less the story. I've been pretty tired lately, so pretty depressed and thinking and crying about Bella a lot, so I held off on blogging until I had something extra happy to talk about.

Back to school!

2011-01-11T21:50:00.002-04:00

Today was my first day back to school, which was pretty crappy in itself. Not to mention I woke up with ear issues (Do you know how scary it is to wake up at 17 and not be able to hear?) so it was starting out a bad day.

I'd been off of school since December 23rd, so I'd gotten used to staying home with the dogs all day, and the dogs got used to it too. So I crated them up and left for school and did my thing. Came home at 4:30 and went to the dogs, camera in hand, tennis ball in the other. The dogs had a total blast just ramming around and playing ball, and I think it'll be come a routine for us. Nice for me to wind down just throwing a tennis ball, waiting, and having it tossed back to me.

I snapped some pictures (working on my theme for this weeks 52 Weeks of Chazhound Dogs, so they're mostly black and white), and I hope you enjoy!

Something's gotta give.

2011-01-09T16:10:00.003-04:00

Okay, it's time to step back and take a fresh new look at things. The blog has gone to a spot where I didn't ever want it to go. It's become that blog, you know, the one that's so sad no one really wants to read it? Yeah. That.

Bella would have never wanted this to be how I spent my free time - blogging only about my sadness at her loss, depriving the public eye (or would it be considered ear, since you're "listening" to my stories?) of how awesome my other dogs are, or how happy I am with life because of them. They are what they are because of how I raised them, and I raised them how I did, because of how Bella changed me.

I'm not forgetting her, or pushing her aside. I'm simply rejoicing in what Bella left me with - two amazing dogs, including Psyche, who she whipped into shape to be the emotional crutch I needed after her loss, and to become the best friend I didn't know I needed.

So enough is enough. No more overwhelming sadness. Sure, there will be sad posts, after all, I'm mourning the loss of a best friend, but I want this to be a place of joy - joy for the life I have now, the friends I have, the dogs I love, the family I rely on, the person I am today because of Bella, and the joy at ever having known Bella at all, because I can promise you, there are others in the world who have never known a dog like Bella, and there are people in the world who had the chance to know a dog like Bella, and love her, and have with her what I was given, and they passed her by.

A place of joy. A place to remember the one who made us, and look out onto the horizon of our futures, together as a team.

My first Christmas without you...Your first Christmas in Heaven.

2010-12-29T11:50:00.000-04:00

Christmas was a little different this year, that's for sure. There was no Bella in the house, and it was wrong. My heart ached at how wrong it was. But I spent Christmas how Bella would have wanted me to; with my family, enjoying their company, and thanking God that I still have them.

I was awaken by my mother, which is no new surprise, this is what happens every year, and I got up to let the dogs out. They all went out to do their morning business and were brought back inside to be given a Christmas treat. I'm currently dog sitting a German Shepherd named Cappie who's crate stays in my room, beside Bella's. So I went up with Cappie after giving all the other dogs their treats and saw Bella's empty crate. Her food dish still where she left it, the hair still dusting the tray, all with a layer of dust over it. It makes me crazy to see her crate so empty, but I'm not ready for anyone else to have her things. I don't know if I'll ever be. I felt a pang of sadness in my heart, in that big gaping hole where Bella's antics and amazing personality used to thrive, now just memories and thoughts of my Boo and where she is now, at looking at her crate so obviously lacking of her again. But I had my family, and so I went on to do our morning Christmas routine - gathering all together and opening presents.

I wasn't expecting much for Christmas this year, nothing at all, to be honest. But I was pleasently pleased by what my family was able to bring together to celebrate. Once the presents were all opened, my sister said there was one more, and went scurrying to her bed room. She came back with a long flat rectangle and handed it to me. I ripped the paper off, and before I even saw it all there were tears in my eyes. She looked at me and said, "Christmas wouldn't have been the same without a little Bella in it."
In one of the spots on the frame, the words, "Some animals come into our lives to teach us lessons that most humans do not have the capacity to teach.
And, completing that, leave us to learn lessons that they can't teach us from others - having changed our lives forever." were written, speaking of my Bella.

This gift, so simple to some, holds so much weight in my heart, and I'm very thankful for not only this gift, but for my sister who gave it, and my family who not only let me get Bella in the first place, put up with her problems while she was here, but has also supported me in my grieving of my best friend.

I hope everyone took the time this holiday season to remember loved ones, and not only be sad for losing them, but be happy because you knew them at all.

And for those of us who spent our first Christmas without a loved one here this year, please, take the time to read this beautiful poem.

My First Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with the angels this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with the angels this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
Please love and keep each other, as our Maker said to do.
For I can't count the blessings he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with the angels this year.

Big Girl, You Are Beautiful.

2010-11-21T10:40:00.000-04:00

Today is a fairly good day. There is snow on the ground, and I know Bella would have loved it. I hope where ever she is, waiting for me, that there's snow for her to play in. She loved snow.

Last night I was sent a link to a video a friend of mine had made for Bella. She'd used the song Yesterdays by Switchfoot that I'd quoted in an earlier post, and the video made me laugh, cry, and clutch Psyche, knowing she misses Boo just as much as I do. I still miss Bella everyday, but I was proud that I could laugh at some of those foolish pictures of her that were in the video. Thank you again, Abby. (To see the video go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suUUN1_QZD8 )

Today I'm watching old videos of her, and they make me smile. I miss my Boo with every fiber of my being, but I feel like I'm finally able (or at least today) to look back and smile about her. Love that I had her at all, love what she gave me, and just love her. I hold my memories more dear to my heart then ever before the longer she's gone.

My favorite video of Bella today:

Oh, my Boo. <3

No real point to this entry, I guess. Just some stuff on my heart I wanted to get out. Thanks to my friends and family who have been so supportive.

Two Months

2010-11-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

I can't even fathom the idea that I've been without my Bella for two hole months as of today, but it has. In a way, I can't believe it's been two months already, but at the same time, I feel like it's been ages since I've seen my Boo and I miss her like crazy. I still sometimes feel like this isn't real and I've just sent her to stay with someone else for a long time; a part of me is still waiting for her to come home. Today is one of those days where it just doesn't seem real. How is it possibly real that my baby girl, who taught me so much and means so much to me is actually gone from this world? Just so unreal to me. And I wish it weren't real.

My thoughts lately have not only been of Bella, but also of a few friends of mine who recently lost their loved ones. It saddens me to say that Bella has friends playing with her now, but it only saddens me because I now have friends here on earth, missing them. Duke, a young German Shepherd, taken way too soon from his momma. Koda, an Australian Shepherd who's momma made the decision to end his suffering and see him free. And so many others who I'm sure have been lost within the past two months.

My heart goes out to anyone who said goodbye to a best friend, ever. I know that it's a tough situation. And to the people who have just recently said goodbye, know that it gets easier. Not easier to not think about them, or to not miss them, but easier to look back and love the moments you had and cherish the memories you were given. After two months I have days where I can finally look back at pictures and videos of Bella and instead of sobbing and hating that she's gone, I can look at them and smile because Bella was a goof, and she was perfect, and amazing, and she was my Boo, and I'll miss her forever, but at least I have a reason to miss her - I knew her, and that in itself is amazing.

Think today of your lost loved ones, and don't dwell that they're gone, but be happy that they lived, and that you were lucky enough to not only know them, but to love them.

Boo, I miss you more then anything in the world, know that you're always on my mind, and you're a being who came into my life and did amazing things. For that I'll forever owe you, and I will never forget you, and all that you've done for me.

Bella's final gift to me

2010-11-01T19:54:00.000-03:00

This past weekend I attended an agility trial with my young border collie, Psyche.

Psyche and Bella were very close when Bella was still with me. Bella was instantly best friends with her when I first brought her home, and they've been buddies since. Bella and Psyche played for hours, slept together, snuggled, and were over all an amazing pair. Between those two I never had a second where the thought that I owned amazing dogs wasn't somewhere in my head.

When we (and I say we as in anyone who ever knew how amazing Bella truly was) lost Bella, I was devastated, but so was Psyche. We both missed her, and still miss her. And because of how much the two of us miss Bella, we rely on each other a lot more. She understands when I want to just lay in bed and cry for a little bit, and I understand when she doesn't feel like playing. We get that we're both sad.

The weekend after putting Bella down, Psyche and I both sucked it up and went to the trial we'd entered in. I wasn't expecting to have a great weekend, and for the most part, I spent it in near tears, trying to keep myself in check while people told me how sorry they were for my loss. But when it was our turn to run, Psyche made it all better. She showed me with everything she did that she still loved me, even though we were both sad, and she gave me her all.

It still wasn't a "perfect" weekend to some, but it was great to me. I thought Psyche and I were finally starting to come together as a team.

This past weekend, Halloween weekend, Psyche showed me that, yes, we are coming together as a team, and even better, we're going to be an amazing team.

Psyche and I loaded up and drove 3 hours to our first ever indoor trial. It was new to Psyche and new to me. We were entered in 8 runs total (all that was offered) and it was the most I'd ever entered Psyche in - remember, she only started trialing this spring. Of those 8 runs, Psyche and I had 6 amazing runs, and the other two were good, just not as good as the others she gave me that weekend. We were truly connected, and everyone who had seen us run before knew it, saw it, and commented on it. We had an amazing weekend.

This weekend, Psyche gave me not only her first Q (qualifying run) but also my first ever Q with a dog I'd trained. She ran with me through a Snookers course that I planned out with the help of friends, and not only ran clean and under time for me, but managed to snag a Q and a first place ribbon!

I don't remember when it happened, or even if it was before or after our Q, or who said it, but this weekend someone of the agility community looked at me and was saying how great Psyche was doing, and I gave my usual response "Yes, she's doing so great, and I'm so happy... but it's sad that what seems to have brought this around was losing Bella." and without even skipping a beat this person replied, with a pat on my shoulder, "This was her last gift to you."

Tears come to my eyes writing this now, because I know it's true. Bella, in all of her foolishness and pure beauty made it so that even through our grieving and missing her, Psyche and I would find each other and seek out comfort and come together as an amazing team.

I like to think that when I'm out there, having amazing runs with my Psycher Doo that my Boodleshnitzle is right there along side us, keeping pace and urging us to be the best we can be - together.

I remember you like yesterday.

2010-10-22T19:50:00.000-03:00

I wrote this on my iPod (have to love that "note" feature!) on October 14th. Thought it might be something worth posting on the blog, just for you all to get a taste of what I'm feeling.

"I spent the last half hour just playing with Psyche. She was playing with a sock, a piece of paper, a feather, my blanket, and my pillows. She will play with anything, just to play.

It was nice. I think tonight will be the first night I've gone to sleep with some happy in my heart - she's just too cute for me not to be happy about.

She's laying beside me on the bed, me on my belly, propped up, her laying flat on her belly, head down, resting on her paws, just laying beside her momma.

I've been so thankful for her this past month. She has helped me so much in dealing with the loss of Bella. At first my tears, and the way I breath when crying freaked her out, but she's gotten used to them and comes up to just love on me when I'm down. I think she understands why I'm crying - gets why I'm sad... Because I think she is too. I know she missed Bella, at least a first, but I think now, even a month later, Psyche still has moments like I do - oh where's Bella? She's gotta see this! But she's not here to see. And I think that's just as hard on both of us.

Psyche sleeps in one of Bella's old spots - the spot up by my head and pillow where Bella used to lay her head, her big German shepherd body crammed into my lower back. Now a smaller dog lays there. I sometimes wonder if it makes her feel closer to Bella. I know being in my bedroom makes me feel closer to her. Most of my memories of her are in this room, or at least the more fresh ones. I'm scared for the day when even the fresh ones seem old. I'm scared for when I grow old and forget the little stores about my Bella. I'm terrified I'll lose her completely by forgetting. I don't ever want to forget."

It's been really rough for me - I won't even attempt to hide that from you, it wouldn't be possible. But I can say with all of my heart that the only reason I've managed to be as strong as I'm being is because of Psyche. She's keeping me going, reminding me that I need to get up and live my life, I can't just spend my time crying over what can't be changed now. She looks at me with her soulful eyes and I can't say no to her, I can't not be the owner she needs me to be, because I know she needs me to help her deal with the pain of this loss, and her way of dealing is to be with me, and be happy with me. I think in a way she understands better then I ever will how Bella would want me to be living. I know Bella would want me happy, but that doesn't mean it's easy to just do that.

A friend of mine, Abby, who I thank for being there for me, recently mentioned to me a song, and I'm so grateful she did. It's called Yesterdays by Switchfoot and the lyrics so a special something that seems to ease my soul. I thought I'd share those lyrics with you all, simply because it makes me happy to do so.

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone, oh...
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I'm with you, I'll carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you're free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I'll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
So long my friend, so long

I know the lyrics are kind of morbid and sad, but they don't make me feel that way... The "you're free" bit gives me a great deal of comfort, because I know, Bella is free. From all her demons, from all her problems, from all her downfalls. She's free of all the mental suffering she's endured through out her short life... Bella's soul is free, free to find a spot that makes her happy and comfortable until we meet again. However she comes back to me, if at all, or even if I wait to see her at the bridge some day, I can't wait for that, but I know she wouldn't want the moment for me to cross that bridge with her to come too soon, and so until the time comes, I hope my baby is happy and free somewheres.

You're free, Bella.

I woke from a dream of you last night.

2010-10-19T10:42:00.000-03:00

This is my first real post since losing Bella, not counting her memorial post, which was just a copy and paste jobbie.

It's been one month and two days now, and that one month and two days have been the hardest of my life. Everyday there's a second where I border on the edge of a mental break down, no matter where I am - school, the bus, at home alone, out in public with family. I'm just 100%, undoubtedly, uncontrollably sad.

On Sunday night, the night of one month, I had a dream of Bella. I was walking into a building/room, with walls painted light blue, and when I came in, I looked ahead of me, and there was Bella. I remember her coming up to me, doing her happy dance, jumping up but not toughing, spinning in joy, and rubbing against my legs, and then she put her front paws up and stood with me holding her upper body close like we used to, and instead of her being her happy, wiggly self that she usually is at that point, she just calmed and rested there happily in my arms, just soaking in being together.

I told this to my sister, who lost her beloved mare to colic years back, and she told me not to be sad, but to think of it as Bella telling me she's okay, healthy and happy, but that she misses me, and I think she's right. And I hope she's right. I can't stand to think of Bella as just dead. She's not. She's gone, but her spirit is waiting to find it's way back to me some how in this realm, or waiting for my spirit to make it's way to the place hers is, and at this point I need to believe that I will see her again someday, somehow, because that's the only way I can function.

I don't know what to say to you all, or how to keep it happy and joyful when my heart is neither happy nor joyful. I'm full almost to the edge of sorrow and upset over losing my best friend, my heart dog, my Bella. However, there are moments of each day where her memories make me smile and allow the pain to slip away for long enough for me to enjoy my other dogs without the nagging thought of "If this was with Bella, it'd be even better."

I've stopped feeling guilty over being the one to decide it was time for her life to end. There's no point beating myself up about it - she's gone. Now I'm full of sadness and fear because she's gone, and I'm scared so much that someday I will forget her memories she's left behind, and I don't want that to ever happen.

I'm making it, day by day. I've lost animals before, but never in my short life has it ever hurt this much. You know you've had something special when it takes this long to even consider a way to function normally with the pain over the loss.

I'm not sure what will be done with the blog. I don't want it to fade away, I want it to stay, representing Bella in her life. You mostly all heard the good things, and that's what I want the world to see, for now. Someday I'll tell the whole story of Bella, and my life before and after her, but as of right now, I want to keep most of that to myself. I will keep using the blog for memories of Bella, "that time when....", I think. I'd be happy doing that, putting my memories somewhere where I wont forget them. And you may even see some training/general updates of my other girls too, since they're what's keeping me even a little bit happy these days. I don't know what I'd do without them.

I guess that's all for now, folks. Just hang with me for a little bit - it's going to take a while for my posts to go from sad to happy again, but I just need to get it out.

To the best dog who has ever been mine.

2010-09-17T19:13:00.000-03:00

READ: I guess I was proved wrong from my earlier post. Things in this household went downhill. Real downhill.
-----

February 11th, 2007 - September 17th, 2010

Today I made the very tough decision to say good-bye to my heart dog until we meet again, and to end a journey she and I had started together. Today ranks in one of the saddest, and hardest days of my life.
I didn't even know how to begin saying good-bye to a dog that has become my life, my love, my best friend, my everything, but I had to. On Tuesday night Bella attacked Zoey, leaving Zoey torn and lame. That was strike three for Bella, and we realized what we thought we had solved by rehoming Gyp hadn't and it was still a problem, and one we didn't know how to fix. After talking to vets we decided it was a mental thing with Bella, and always has been.

I spent the last two days crying, cuddling, and sleeping. I was sick thinking I'd be saying good-bye. This morning I woke up, cuddled her, took her for her last van ride, and then let her go out in the field with Morrie and Psyche to have one last romp. As we were cooling off in her little kiddie pool the vet drove down the drive way (we had him come and do it here on the farm to be easier for her and I) and I prepared to say good-bye. I wasn't ready for him to be there yet, but looking at it now, I don't think I would have ever been ready for it.

As he got out of the car Bella gave me one last reason to brag about what a great dog she was. She greeted him with such grace and happiness that you'd never guess she had issues with people when I first brought her home.

She passed easily enough, with her face buried in my neck, while I cried repeating "you're a good girl, Bella. A good girl."; I just didn't want her to go without her knowing that. I watched as her beautiful soul left the vessel she had loved me in, and I cried. For lost chances, for failure, for Bella and I losing the chance to grow our love even stronger.

My sister snapped this shot today while we were playing, and for that I'm grateful.

I'm holding on, and I'll stay strong, because I know that's what Bella would want, but I don't feel right. My body is missing something, and I know that a part of my being left Bella's body with her soul today.

So cry a tear for us, as we part our ways until we meet again.

We'll meet again, Bella, and when we do, I'll love you just as much or more. Time will never erase the memories you've given me, or the lessons you've taught me. Rest easy, Baby Girl, I miss you like crazy.

Woah, I still suck at blogging!

2010-09-13T16:44:00.000-03:00

Well, yeah. I'm not going to lie and say I'm good at this, 'cause obviously I'm not.

Anyway, here's the general update. Bella and I quit agility classes, because she got loose one night after the classes were done and she went after another dog. I hesitated there, not knowing what to call what happened. She got her crate open (even though I was certain I had my "back up lock" on it) and she went after a Pyre that happened to be out and training at the time, as soon as she got there, she grabbed for him, and got only a mouth full of hair (even more reason for me to love the breed) - and just then I said "Bella, here!" and she dropped the entire event like it had never happened, came over to me, and calmly walked back to her crate without even thinking about going back towards the dog. It was a strange event, and not as serious as some things I've seen her do with our dogs, but still enough for me to say no to anymore classes with her.

So she and I have been mostly doing nothing. We cuddle, and chill, and just enjoy the lazy life. But still, I feel bad not doing anything with her, and I miss working with her, because she's honestly a love to train, when she's not reacting.

The other day, yesterday, to be exact, I was going to the agility field with Zoey and Psyche for some work, and I said "what the heck, let's bring Bella too." and so Bella came along. We worked on some agility stuff, and she did great. It was only me and my mom there, so only dogs she knew, and she handled it all really well. We worked on some jump stuff, the tire, the chute, tunnels, and her contacts - working on getting a 2o2o. She loved working with me yesterday, and I loved working her.

I think here begins the road of "at home, at the field, at the barn for FUN only training". I don't ever want to trial her - ever. However, I'm thinking I'd like to be able to take her out, set up a course, and run it. And since I'm doing that with the other two for training anyway, why the heck not?

So that's how she goes right now. Bella's doing incredibly well now that Gyp's in a new, happy home (Gypie's a JOGGER NOW! Can you imagine? Fat, tubby, doesn't even like to go for walks with us, Gypie is a JOGGER! So happy for the girl!) and all the dogs are happy to live together in peace.

I love these peaceful days, and I'll cherish them forever, because I never know weather or not the last time we had a huge inner family issue was the last. I live a day to day life with Bella.

School has started, so no promises I'll keep this blog updated.. but here's a picture to make up for that, or at least try.

Perhaps we're getting somewhere?

2010-05-12T11:49:00.000-03:00

Last night Bella and I did something that was either going to be very good for us, and make us happy, or it was going to be very hard for us, and make us stressed.

Bella attended a class last night where she was put a field, with her crate there as a place to hide, and 8 other dogs. Only one of which she knew. In this class, the dogs played with their owners (tugging, chasing, running together), they did restrained re-calls, and circle work.

Believe it or not, this was Bella's first agility class.

I started with Bella outside of the ring, where I basically just let her see everything, and clicked and treated her for every little thing she did. Dogs walked past us, people said 'Hi!' and I just clicked and treated every thing. We worked on some "Bella!" where if she's looking one way, she's the turn and come with me in the other direction, some "Leave." which has become her "leave it" command (just dropped the "it" cause it's easier), and we did lots of her favorite things so she'd realize that it was a place for fun, not a place where I'm going to make her sit and stay for a long time, because that bores her.

After I moved her into the field - where I had her crate set up, with a sheet over it, away from any other dogs expect for the one we knew - I took her over towards her crate and just clicked and treated for being closer to the dogs, who were at this point, playing with their owners and practicing commands they knew. She was quiet, had no issues.

They then started playing with toys, where owners where trying to get their dogs hyper and excited. I didn't try this with Bella, because I need to keep her as low on the excitement scale as I can, for now. Bella was fine with the other dogs doing this. She watched them, then looked back at me, completely at ease, looking for her treat (I loooove the "look at that!" game!).

They did restrained re-calls after playing, where all the other dogs were on leash, or in their crates, and the one doing the re-calls was the only one out and "off leash" with the leash dragging. I put Bella into her crate for this one, because a) I didn't want other dogs coming up to her and b) I know that dogs running like they do for re-calls bothers her, so I didn't want to stress her too much. So I clicked and treated her in her crate for watching the dogs. She was great. No issues with that. She started to get worked up, but she has stages of getting worked up now that are very visible to me. She'll look at it and the first sign is that she'll whine, at that point, I can say her name, and she'll look to me for a click and a treat, second sign is barking, not her deep throat reacting full-out bark, but just a playful "I wanna run too!" bark, third sign is full out reacting, barking (not always her low gruff bark) and pushing at the sides of her crate with her body, or lunging if she's out of the crate. I almost always catch her at the first sign now, where she's easy to get her attention back. However, she rarely showed any of these signs last night, except for when the biggest dog in the class was doing a re-call, and even then it was only whining. Bella did her re-call, too, and she was great. They had my Mom hold her, so it didn't stress her out. Next week I'll probably ask the trainers to hold her.

After that they did some circle work, I believe, and that freaked her out a little bit. All of the dogs walking around and closer to her then they had all night, so I put her muzzle on, and faced her away from the dogs walking. Soon she calmed down (by soon, I mean like, a minute) and so I shortened her leash so she couldn't get far from me (probably a 2 foot leash) and took her muzzle off, facing away from the dogs, and clicked and treated for focusing on me. When the last few dogs were heading back towards their crates, I turned her around so she could see them. After that, Bella and I went alone and did some circle work in a spot away from the other dogs.

She was really great. She got impateint with being in her crate, of course, so next week I'll bring her kong for her, I think, and leave that full for her in her crate, because I can't be clicking and treating her all the time, and if I don't, she gets saussy. (She "lectures" me where she'll look at me and whine and whimper at me!) So I think she'll do well with the kong. She has no food aggression issues, so the food shouldn't cause any more of an issue for her.

And what also made me really happy was that a man came up to us, and Bella went right over to him and was cuddling with him. There were times in the last 2 years I've had her that if a person came up to us, she shut down and hid behind me. She greets them all now with a "I loooove you!" attitude, and I love that. She doesn't see people as a bad thing anymore, not like she did when I first got her, she sees them now as friends; so long as they don't bother her mommy.

Over all, very pleased with Bella. I wasn't expecting to get the good behaviour that I did, and I feel like Bella generally enjoyed the class. We will be going back next week (this was a "try one week for $10 and see how you like it" type thing), that's for sure.

Anyway, Bella was great, and it was really what I needed, and what I feel like she and I deserve, so we'll see how next week goes. I'm not expecting her to be that good again, really, but I hope she and I will be able to make use of these 6 weeks, even if she doesn't learn any agility but only learns how to handle herself better.

Way to go, Good Dog!

Blown Away!

2010-04-06T11:03:00.000-03:00

Wow, wow, wow! I am so incredibly impressed with this dog!

So on Sunday I took Bella to agility again, kept her in her crate, and I varied my rewards more. [She's getting sassy -- if I'm not treating her and she's behaving she will stomp at me and sometimes bark in my direction!] She stayed in her crate most of the day until I took her out while Mom worked her dog Tinky. She was great with Tinky, and usually she has a hard time controlling herself, even if Tinky's just playing, she always wants to chase and tackle her (not in an aggressive manner, but in a rough play way). She behaved great - really focusing on me, and behaving, so other then just clicking and treating her as a reward, after Mom put Tinky away, I let her do a jump or two and the tunnel a few times (she loves tunnels!).

I worked her some with all the other dogs away, and then said "okay, will you bring your dog out?" to the lady training with us. She just walked him around her -- on leash -- for a bit, then I had her jog past, then when I was really comfortable with how she was behaving, I said you do the tunnel on the other side of the barn. Bella loves tunnels, and hates when other dogs do them, so this was a "tougher" thing to ask. I asked Bella for nose touches, spins, downs, 'dead's, sits, etc., while the woman was doing it, and Bella literally didn't flick an ear.

After that I had her jog around some more, and Bella was REALLY focusing on me. She'd look at the other dog every once in a while, but if I said "Leave it." she was very quick to respond to that command.

I am so pleased with her -- Good Dog, Bella!

One More Step Towards Good Dog-dom!

2010-03-22T10:55:00.000-03:00

I am so incredibly pleased with my Bella dog right now.

Yesterday at the barn was a terrific day!

I took a crate for her, a blanket, my clicker and lots of treats.. Oh! And a chair so I could sit and reward like crazy for good behaviour. I started with only the back, where I was sitting, un-covered. She could only see me, but she could hear the other dogs. She did well with that, so I un-covered a side again, so she could see me, and also the crates beside her, which the closest one had my other dogs, and the one beside that had 2 stranger dogs. She started to bark at them, but turned back to me instead. Click, treat!

I then took the other side off, so she still couldn't fully see the dogs, but she could hear them, she did well, so I moved my chair to the front of her crate and un-covered all sides.* She barked once, and when she did, I covered her again on all sides. She quickly (like, as soon as she realized she was covered) stopped her little fit, and calmed down, I waited a few more seconds then un-covered her again. From there she went to watching a Sheltie do a full jumpers course, to a Collie doing the same, and then to a Border Collie doing it as well. All with out any fits.

Of course, she was getting a boat load of treats, and I was practically shoving them down her throat, but still, she was behaving, and doing what I wanted (which was paying attention to me (offering eye contact) and not reacting at the other dogs), and so she got major rewards for that!

I was very pleased with my girl. Next week we'll do the same thing (in her crate) except for the fact that I will be adding more time between rewards, and asking for more - longer eye contact, some downs and sits, etc..

After that, depending on how she does next week, I may try opening the door some (with her leash attached to her, and a hold of her leash), and eventually move to just outside of her crate, to someday out of her crate.

Just a general update on how yesterday went. We're looking into agility classes in May, and I'm very excited because it feels like we're finally getting somewheres!

*This was all over the span of about 2 hours, and it's also her 3rd week working on the issue in this manner

Working more on the motion!

2010-03-07T17:29:00.000-04:00

Today I took Bella to the barn again. I'd told the lady that I was going to take a break from working with her dog, and just work on my own thing with our dogs.

So I packed her crate today, and a blanket too. Took lots of treats and prepared to basically spend the whole 2 hours there beside her crate with her. I covered all 4 sides of her crate, except for one corner, where I was sitting - this corner was facing away from any of the other dogs, into a wall. From there I just treated for looking at me, offering eye contact, downing and sitting (in her crate) and behaving. All went well.

When she was doing well like that, I took one side off of the crate so she could see out, asked the same thing, and then eventually a half of the side closest to the dogs working. Any time she barked or whined, the cover went back down.

This worked well, and I felt like I was able to better control how close she was getting to her threshold. We're going to keep doing this, hopefully, until she can sit in her crate with no covers on it at all. After that she'll get to go out while our dogs do agility, and after that, while another dog jogs past, moving it up to the strange dog doing agility.

While I'm building up to the final result, I will work more on keeping her attention on me for longer, and up my requirements. Psyche's taking a break from agility for the next 3 or 4 weeks, so I'll have more time while at the barn to be there with her -- when I wasn't there to treat her for behaving, mom was. She was constantly rewarded for behaving, and I even let her out to do a couple of tunnels - which she loves - while the other dogs were out.

I'm pleased with today's success. No videos, sorry, because she was just in her crate, really.

Happy Third Birthday!

2010-02-11T19:43:00.000-04:00

Bella hits 3 years old today!

It seems like she's still a pup, in some ways, and in others, I can't believe she's this old already.

She got some hugs and kisses, and I'm planning a trip to our newly opened PetSmart to pick her up some treaties for her birthday - maybe tomorrow night.

On Sunday she'll be going to the agility barn with me again. She really seems to enjoy going, and I like taking her, so I'm going to keep bringing her!

Before this turns into a sobfest, I'll wrap it up with a

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!

Coming up on 3 years old, and training success!

2010-02-02T08:52:00.000-04:00

On February 11th, Bella-baloo will be 3 years old! Time sure has flown since I brought that straggly 10 month old girlie home!

Now for her training success. I took Bella to the agility barn for training Sunday. Not to do agility, but to be around dogs who are moving quickly - because that's her issue now.

So here's a video of Bella's aggression...

Or reactivity or whatever you want to call it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHOEKCJcGxo

I realize that I pull on her collar several times, and shouldn't. I was REALLY uncomfortable with that red leash, and so I was tense because of that and acting stupidly. Note to self for next week.

I hope to get some videos from next weeks session as well, so if I do, I'll be sure to post.

Food Tube!

2010-01-14T18:41:00.000-04:00

Today I was working Psyche on her distance work for agility using a tennis ball (the hollow kind) with an X/t cut into it, the inside washed and wiped out, and then treats put into it. Psyche likes toys, but she always looses focus for them, so I've been using the tennis ball with the treats to try to get her more motivated for it as a reward for agility - because as of now, she'll only do agility for a stick. So, after trying this, I thought I'd try Bella with a food tube.

I took Bella out, just worked on some circle work, sit, stay, down stay, etc., and then used the tube as a reward. She LOVES it. Took her a few tries to realize "Oh, I can put it in my mouth? Cool!" and then she was barreling after it and coming back to me with it. Good Dog!

Fancy New Diggs!

2010-01-09T20:29:00.000-04:00

Tonight Bella got a nice, new, pretty collar. Not for any special reason, other then I'm making collars to sell now, and I figure why not practice making them, and give them to my dogs or sell them cheap?

Anywho it's a martingale collar made like this one (this one is currently the collar around Psyche's neck!) :

And it's made in this fabric:

It's pretty cute.

Bella's doing well since Gyp's gone. No issues in our pack now, and we got an update on Gypie; she's doing great and really fitting in with the family. I'm really glad.

So nothing new is really happening, but I thought I'd let you all know that I've started a business to make money to get my dogs all the care, training, and stuff they need (to rely on my parents less) and I'm offering a sale on martingale collars (like the one above). Let me know in the comments if you're interested.

Gyp found a new home....

2010-01-01T13:29:00.000-04:00

As sad as I feel for it being Bella's fault she had to be rehomed, life has been easier since Gyp went to her new home.

A family of 4 from a french community about 2 hours away took her. The parents both jog daily, and the girls were very good with her. Patient and loving. They came to meet her, and as soon as they left to think about if they wanted her or not, the family all decided that they'd be a great fit for Gyp. Dad didn't like the idea of getting rid of her, but he knew it was for the best, since there's no way we could have rehomed Bella, she would have had to be put to sleep.

We got an e-mail from the family the night they arrived home with her, they had stopped and bought toys, treats, collars, and leashes for her on the way home, and when they got home, Gyp decided on her favorite spot in the house - in front of the fire.

She seems to be doing well, and I'm glad about that.

As for Bella, she's doing well too. She's not in her crate as much now that Gyp's gone, and she's getting along great with all the other dogs, like we knew she would. She's got some chasing Tinky (mom's Mini Aussie) issues, but she just chases her, never tackles her, and we're working on that in our own method until I have a chance to try the Control Unleashed DVD/Book Set on her.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Happy Christmas and Merry Holidays!

2009-12-24T22:58:00.000-04:00

Going For 'Good Dog!' Blog would like to wish all readers and long time friends a warm and wonderful season from the Bad Dog herself and her scatterbrained owner.

~ As a side note, we'd like to encourage anyone who has the time and ability to go out and support those who are helping strays and rescue dogs this season. Give a donation to your local shelter, or go give the dogs waiting for home there some loving - and if at all possible, give one a home.

Love those around you unconditionally.
~ ShayLee & The Misfits xoxo

Late: Happy Two Years!

2009-12-24T22:50:00.000-04:00

On December 3rd, 2009, I had Bella for two years. But because of a lot of Bella related drama and Sasha's passing, I didn't post about it.

To start, I'd like to quote what I said on her one year gotcha day.

I can't believe it's been a year with my girlie already!

In the short year I've had her, I'm learned a lot. And I have a very strong feeling there's still a lot more learning to be done. Bella has become my constant companion, when I'm home, she's always somewhere close, beside me, on top of me, or looming over me in the stairs while I watch TV in the living room. It's amazing to me how much I have grown to love her in just 365 days. She has become a big part of my life, and the bond that she and I have created in this short time gets stronger and stronger every day; everytime we meet a goal; everytime she licks my face.

When I first got Bella, a lot of people told me she'd pay me back for rescuing her. I knew I'd get love, trust, and lots of puppy kisses as a payment, but I never expected to get the devotion, the strong bond, or the amount of love she gives in a day.

Bella has met the goal personality wise, that I had set for my next dog. She has been everything I asked for, a water dog, a tug dog, a toy dog; all of that, and so so much more.

We still have problems, and dogs we see outside of the house are still an issue, but we're working, and we'll get through it. I know we will.
I know it sounds silly, my speaking so emotionally of a dog, but I figure if anyone would understand how I'm feeling, it would be you guys here who know the love of a dog.

Okay, so enough of my blubbering. Here are a few pictures from the day I saw her at her second owners house to now.

From this:
My girlie looking up at the person holding the camera, because the person 'had to stand on a table' to 'keep her from jumping on them'.

To this:
Sitting in a perfect sit stay, waiting for her next command. Wearing her hunters orange vest (And doing so without a hesitation!).

So, to everyone who has helped me with advice be it on training, health, or even convincing my parents to let me get her. Thank you. I couldn't have come this far with Bella-baloo with you the help of you.

~~~~~~~

Of course, since then things have changed from what I thought they would, and it's a very different story with Bella, but the idea's still there.

The moral of the story? Love those who no one else would and you'll receive a pleasant surprise in return.

The Elephant in The Room.

2009-12-21T20:43:00.000-04:00

It's time for this blog to look at the elephant in the room, and discuss it a little more.

The elephant is, of course, putting Bella to sleep.

I know in one of my previous posts, I was very blunt about her being put to sleep, and if you read my posts on AJWW (www.agilityjrsworldwide.proboards.com), you'll read that I'm very blunt and to the point about having her put to sleep there as well.

Do I want to put Bella down - of course not. However, I see Bella's issues as a serious problem, and if they continue and I can't control them, she will be put to sleep. I've come to accept it, and I think it's something that any readers need to accept as well. What Bella and I are going through right now is really tough, and it's very serious. I love Bella to death, but I know that if it comes to it, she needs to be put to sleep.

So, I apologize if it bothers you when I speak so easily of putting my heart dog down, but it's easier for me, and better for Bella, if I think about putting her down in a very straight forward manner, because it's that or have a break down every time I think about putting her down. Right now I just need to work on the problem at hand, and enjoy the time I've got with Bella, in case it's cut short by years.

Cuddle Buddies!

2009-12-16T06:58:00.000-04:00

Because Bella's spending a bit more time in her crate (rotations between her and Gyp), and because we put our old Great Dane, Sasha, down, I've been leaving Bella loose at night. The first couple of nights, she'd come up on the corner of my bed, lay for some cuddling, but as soon as I rolled over to actually sleep, she'd get off... Sunday night she spent the majority of the night on my bed, and Monday night spent a lot of time up there, too... Last night a little less, but I think it's cause I was hogging the bed!

I used to hate sharing the bed - but when it's a big ol' GSD I don't seem to mind so much!

I can take a little comfort in knowing...

2009-12-14T12:44:00.000-04:00

It's been snowing on and off for the past week or so... Bella loves snow.

She was scratching at the door just a bit ago and whining, so I went down to let her out - knowing she hadn't pooped this morning - and as soon as she gets out the door she turns into adorable-loves-snow-so-much snow puppy Bella and is zooming around our fence, having a grand time.

Things only got better in terms of snow play when I let Psyche out to play with her! Those two love each other so much, it amazes me.

At least now I know, if things don't work out, and I have to put her down, Bella got her snow.

Muzzle Success!

2009-12-12T16:43:00.000-04:00

Bella was re-shaped to a muzzle over last Saturday and Sunday... I was able to teach her to leave it alone, and to just chill while wearing it - which is a big deal considering the last time she wore a muzzle, she almost needed stitches under her eye from her dew claw.

I took her (and all the others) out of her crate - including Gyp. Bella was interested in her, and was looming over her (Grr!), and did what looked like an attempted bite once. Very discouraging that she was doing that - even more discouraging that even before Bella did that, Gyp was terrified of her. I tried treating both of them, but Gyp was just having nothing to do with Bella. It's really hard to try and get the two to get along if Gyp's going to be irrationally scared.

So, after that night, Mom started looking for a home for Gyp. I feel terrible that it's happening, but Gyp is now very defensive, even with the other dogs, who have never done anything to her. It sucks that they're considering rehoming her, but we're thinking it's what's best for her, considering now she's nervous with all dogs.

Back on track - we took Gyp into the city to meet the man looking at taking her (he gave us a lot of information, talked to us for a while, and agreed to all of our conditions on rehoming her). This was Gypie's first time in the city, and she did amazingly well. I was so proud of her, considering she's usually quite nervous and shy even away from the city. She saw the man walking toward us, and I swear she knew it was him before we did. Her bum started wiggling and she shimmied over to him. He got right now, patted her, and loved on her. She loved the attention!

We're planning on letting him take her for the day, to see how she does, and he was going to call our vet - just to check it out. He's being very wise and responsible about taking in another dog (he has no other dogs now - lost both of his oldies in the past little while). He's not going to take her until after Christmas - smart idea - and so that gives me time to take both of them in for the assessment we had planned on having done.

Bella's been doing well with all of the training I've been giving her - other then loosing some focus after two many days of long sessions - and I'm pleased with her. She learned "dead" and "legs" both within a couple of days, and she really enjoyed the process of training them - and the process of the muzzle!

As far as cross country skis go, no luck yet. Bummer. We're still looking, though... and if all else fails, I'll buy snow shoes.

That's all for now...

Have I mentioned?

2009-12-06T17:57:00.000-04:00

I doubt that I've ever mentioned how much I hate cross country skiing; never the less, I do hate it. With a passion...

So someone tell me why I inquired about a set of skis? The answer to this question is the answer to most questions asked here. Bella.

With the first serious snow fall today, it's become apparent that I need something other then throwing the stick with Bella and Psyche to physically tire her out. Plus, I lost a very good agility stick today while throwing it in the snow for them - argh. So, desperate for something to do, I started looking for cheap skis.

Oh well, the things I do to keep this dog!

How about a little history to tell you about the future?

2009-12-05T10:27:00.000-04:00

Hi, my name is ShayLee. I'm 16, and I own and train 3 dogs. Zoey is my Mini Aussie - she started agility in 2006, but only started seriously competing in agility last summer. We hope to do more next summer. Psyche is my Border Collie - she started training for agility in May '09, and we're hoping her first trial will be May '10. However, the dog you'll hear the most about here is Bella - she's a rescue German Shepherd Dog and she's my baby. I brought her home December 3rd, 2007. I was 14 at the time, and I started her training the next month. From then on she did 2 levels (each level 6 weeks) of Obedience with clicker training, then 3 days a week for a summer of private lessons with the same trainer, then a season of 4-H.

Bella's the star of this blog. She has some issues; some very serious ones. It started with barking, lunging and making a big fuss about any and all dogs she saw - other then the ones that live in our house. Through the 2 levels of obedience and the summer of privates we worked that problem down to where I can now handle her around other dogs.

Her newest problem appeared in May '09 when I tried to take her to agility lessons. She doesn't like running dogs. That has been something we're working on getting under control.

However, a new and more serious problem came up on the weekend of Canadian Thanks Giving. We have other dogs in our house, and among them is Gyp. She's a litter mate to my Zoey, and she's always changing her attitude towards Bella. One day she is submissive to her, the next she's lunging at her. This has caused problems, and Bella will posture over Gyp from time to time... But, on that weekend, Bella did more then posture over her. She attacked her, and left a puncture wound on her shoulder. Mom yelled (I was at work), and Bella stopped and went to a crate to hide. A problem, yes, but we thought it wasn't such a big deal because mom was able to get Bella off of her.

On December 1st '09, our problem with Bella grew again. She attacked Gyp while they were outside, and Gyp was sitting beside my mom, not provoking Bella at all. Bella attacked her, mom yelled and she walked away. Bella, however, came back at her again, and my mom couldn't get her to let go. She yelled, pushed, pulled, pried, and screamed. She stuck her fingers in her nose, mouth, and smacked her sides. She couldn't get Bella off, and mom thought Bella was killing Gyp.

I ran downstairs and outside, yelled at Bella to 'Leave it!' and Bella let go. I held onto her and just cried. My heart was broken because I thought for sure Bella had killed her, and I knew that if Bella killed her, it wouldn't matter that it was only strike 2/3; she'd have to be put to sleep.

Luckily, Gyp only had one small puncture wound (smaller then the first time) and a limp that lasted about 5 days.

Now, because of all of this drama, things have to change in our house. Bella's not allowed out with Gyp, unless she has a muzzle on (which I'm still shaping her to accept). And I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to keep my heart dog with me.

With all my thinking, I came up with the thought that since I got my job in June, I hadn't had time to train Bella properly. When she was getting one class a week, or 3 days a week, she was great. Never had a problem in the house... So I thought "Hmm, maybe that has something to do with it...?" so to start Bella and I on the track towards "Good Dog!" again, I'm upping the ante and she's getting serious exercise and serious training daily. She's also going to be assessed by a local GSD breeder, and I'm searching for things to do with her.

Right now we're dealing with cold Canadian winter. And Bella needs exercise, so that's where you all come in. Have any ideas what I can do to keep her worked this winter?